who do you prefer to fight

[Mandeigh Wells]

simple question ladies.....do you prefer to spar/fight men or women and why? I presonally prefer blokes because I am not too bothered about hurting them :D

Mandeigh

[fightgrrl]

well, I'd like to say no preference, but guys tend to underestimate me, so, then I can suprise them...

muahahahahaha:shoot:

[Jen]

I prefer to fight men as well. With women, it seems that either A) We beat the hell out of each other to the point where someone requires medical attention or B) They whine if you should so much as tap them with your toe. Men seem to judge what level to be at. They tend to hit me at the same level I hit them.

[Jeff Burger]

If I see guys being to nice to girls in class Ill come by and say hit her like this...and pop her....harder depending on that persons level.

I recently started teaching at another school on Saturdays.
We were really shocked at the amount of pain these people couldnt take...especially the "black belts".
Every little hit or throw was..."OW!" or "Jeff that really hurt".
My remarks are usually something...'get over it...Iam" or "you'll live" or "dont worry you have another one".

I dont feel Im abusive. I work at peoples level. The higher the level or spirit at low levels will dictate how rough I play with someone.
Building up pain tolerance is part of it...we call it being....."Karatified".

Personally I think women improve percentage wise better than most guys. Guys often come in with a ego and when they are hurt so is their ego. For women I thinks in the beginning it more being afraid of getting hit our hurt. Once they are used to it they often show it off.
Fightgrrl likes to demo that you can jump up and down on her stomach.
Being the class crash test dummy is a place of honor in our club.
If I knock someone around a bit they call it favoritism.
I was almost always the first to volunteer to be Uke (victim) and I like to see students not hesitate to volunteer.

Jeff

[tkdcanada]

I agree with Jeff, I like to fight someone who will push me to my maximum ability and pain tolerance. It makes me stronger and will help me improve my technique making more more confident and competent.

M.C.

[De_Franza]

"tkdcanada" couldn't have said it better.

Mr. Burger said,
"Being the class crash test dummy is a place of honor in our club." ... "and I like to see students not hesitate to volunteer."

This is great! In my (limited) experience, this is the best way to toughen up physically and mentally. This is how a strong spirit is forged.

What's more intimidating than shrugging off someone's best technique and saying, "Is that your best?" (other than a gun or sword or somesuch)

[williamson]

"Crash test dummy" I like that. I prefer to think of it as being a human punching bag.

[De_Franza]

Originally posted by williamson
"Crash test dummy" I like that. I prefer to think of it as being a human punching bag.

Another good one is "Blocking with your face" -- a bad habit of mine :dead:

[TkdWarrior]

i don't know about others but i seriously dig into chicks who can kick some serious a$s...
if a girl is in class i expect her to do some good beating or take some otherwise Go back to ur home u r not MA kind :eek:
yea only one girl is in class
she can run more laps than me
more pushups than me... :rolleyes: n
but i m cool :cool: :cool:

[Jeff Burger]

We have had newbie guys quit during warm ups, jsut out of theb low to their ego off how good some of the fameals are.

We had a gradma in class who could do 100 push ups in one set.

Some people see that and find it inspiring for themselves, otehrs see that and are inrtmidated.

I try to get people to worry about their percentage improvements and not someones elses number.

Same with training.
Lets ay two people watch the same throw...
One person may see themselves doing that throw.
The other may see themselves as being thrown like that.
You break a brick or boards...
One person may see themselves doing that.
The other may feel anxious about having to do it or being forced to do it.

I tell people you never HAVE TO FIGHT IN HERE....but in time your going to want to.

Its very important to work people through a progression or they are going to get to hurt to soon and not like it.
A few small improvements can really change someones motivation.

Back to the question....
I dont know...
Most guys will give me a better fight than a woman...but I think I can bring her up in level easier and that makes me feel pretty good.

IMHO women (even young age girls) in general have a better learning curve and are more coachable than guys.


Jeff

[Jeannette]

Hey, how's it going? I don't have a preference. It is all important. Small, big,
woman, man.... Out on the battle field it is all the same. Training with all types of BODIES is important to your training. One time in training a new girl came in
that was 4'11 in height. I am usually the smallest person. I found myself wanting to train with her more because it was unfamiliar to me. It was fun and
good for my training. You never know who will attack you out on the street!

Train with people of all sizes reguardless of their sex, and body size.

[dao]

I agree with Jeanette. I've really enjoyed training with almost everyone. The most notable exception I can think of was one women I used to train with felt it was okay to whale on me but, if I even half heartedly applied a technique she'd start screaming and complain :cry: about how she was afraid I'd hurt her. Well, she's the only person I ever really had a desire to take out "behind the barn" and beat sensless so maybe she was right to be afraid :o. To make matters worse, I don't think that my teacher really understood the dynamic between this women and I so he kept pairing us together - or maybe I was the only one who didn't complain? Anyway she only trained for a few months and I was never so relieved when someone quit.

[tkdcanada]

I agree Debra, my biggest pet peeve is being paired up with someone I have to hold back with. I spar because I want to improve and if I can't hit someone the way I should or would in a ring, then why bother? Another pet peeve is people who decide to try sparring and they don't have equipment so you can't even hit them. No fun!

Michleine

[Jeannette]

I hear you Debra, although, maybe it was one of the reasons why your teacher paired you with this girl. Perhaps your teacher felt both of you need to understand uke and tori (training partners) relationships better... metaphorically speaking, is a husband and wife relationship.
Although, it's good you gave her good intent as she certainly didn't hold back on you! Or maybe even a bit more! Perhaps, she was used to people taking her sh** in training. I also, deal with new students this way often. I first warn them and tell them why, but if they keep it up I just give it right back and take 'em down...hard! (they usually learn quick) Don't be afraid to tell them why. (respectfully)

[Jashan]

I personally prefer fighting women. The men I've fought against (not all, but the vast majority) are afraid they're going to hurt me, bump me, bruise me, or something. And if they hit me in the chest, forget about it. They spend the next 2 minutes apologizing about touching my breast, no matter how many times I say, "That's okay. We're sparring, you're supposed to try to hit me."

Women tend to be a bit more shy in general regarding giving/receiving blows, but at least they're not afraid to hit me and don't turn bright red if they hit the "wrong" spot.

[Cassiopeia]

Hmm, interesting question.

I'm one of three women in my class. We spar with only mouthpieces. You can wear shin-guards, etc. if you want but not required. Just FYI I'm traditional, non sport Tae Kwon Do.

Sparring with men and women have pros and cons.

A few tests ago I sparred a strong guy. We both went up to kick at the same time and pow, I got a nice kick in the shins. Although I had been training for a little while I had just started sparring. This was the first time I ever got hit hard. It hurt like hell, but I sucked it up and finished the test. But, I'm not going to lie, as soon as it was over I cried like a baby and had trouble walking for a few days.

As bad as that was, since then I have developed a new toughness. I take punches and kicks regularly now, and in my mind I justify it this way. I'm not a black belt yet, but I'm really close. If I can't block the hit, I'm not training hard enough. It's not the other person's fault that I got hit, its mine.

For the most part guys really don't bother me. The males in my class respect me because we all get hits in on each other on a regular basis, and we both take those hits with as much...elegance...as we can muster.

There is one woman in my class that I am always partnered with. My instructor wants me to help toughen her up. She is an older lady, almost a BB in Gum Do, and just starting TKD. She freaks at the slightest touch. We practice joint locks, etc., and she can't take much of anything. I'm torn between holding back to prevent her pain and going all out so she can learn. It reallly makes it difficult to train sometimes.

I guess the point Im getting at is it doesn't really matter who you spar, man or woman. If they don't want to go all out, they won't know what the hell to do when they are confronted with a situation. How will they ever handle a blow delivered at full power from someone if they can't take a half power blow from someone not trying to hurt them? Women especially I think need this experience, so that if they get attacked, they won't be afraid of a little...discomfort.

That's just my two cents.

Take care all.

[tkdcanada]

I like the way you think Jen. I am also a minority woman in my school (There are only two of us) and I am the only adult woman who spars. The people I usually spar against are BB teenagers from whom I learn quite a lot from. I like your analogy on it being your fault for not blocking well enough if you get hit. After all sparring is as much avoiding the hits as getting them in. You need both. And I agree that you do earn the males' respect if you can take the hits as well as them. It's no fun sparring someone who can't take a hit.

[Jeff Burger]

Fightgrrl asked me to check out this thread concerning the Gum Do woman.

She wanted me to share a story.
I will but Im probably going to get smashed for it.

I taught 1 day a week a another school. They do very sporty martial arts. They wanted to learn some Chinese weapons and some realier stuff including grappling.

One woman (a very proud new black belt) was just a whimp.
It was very fustrating to hear her whine and complain if I chose her to be an uke. (btw Im very almost always very gentle with ukes...I only go ruff with ukes who's experience I know can handle it).

So I have this whining crying black belt doing grappling. Every grab, hold, slow mo throws...you name it...she whines.
I spoke to her about it, that she is a black belt and she has students in that class. She admitted to being a whimp, that she teaches JR High School and is afraid of the kids and didnt feel her black belt meant anything.
I told her I would help her get tougher just hang in there and give her best.

Well about 2 months after that she was my uke and we started classical position (elbow / lapel...we sometimes call it Hockey position).
Again she whined...that the grab on her lapel pulled on her gi and she could "feel it" on her neck.

(heres where Im probably going to get some flack)
I slapped her
Yup slapped her and asked..."DID IT HURT MORE THAN THAT!?"
Now dont get carried away I didnt slap her hard...it would not have knocked over a carton of milk.
She was surprised...but admitted she needs more of it.

I stopped teaching there a few months ago.
I just couldnt handle swaggering black belts that couldnt do anything.
A few are doing some good gymnastics though :rolleyes:

(awaiting the flack)
JMB

[tkdcanada]

No flack from me! IMHO she should have been toughening up all along. If you're participate in something like martial arts, you need to learn how to take lumps. I'm wondering how she made it to black belt being so "fragile." I have no sympathy for whiners and it's one thing that gets deep under my skin.

[Jen]

Hey, thanks. There are a few guys I hate sparring. The one who tells me not to hit him, but then beats the hell out of me. I don't mind it, if I can beat back. There was a girl I used to train with (won't anymore because my instructor left the organization and her's didn't). She once told me to lighten up and I hadn't even touched her. We also had a boy who has since moved to Florida that was a bit of a cry baby. Nobody was sad to see him go. Anyway, these people I feel I should just play a dodging game with. At least that way I get some use out of these people. Even the people who I run into a corner and beat their faces in aren't entirely useless when I think about it.
Jeff, strange that you talk about people who whine in holds. I kinda have the opposite problem. I tend to ignore pain. It aggravates the heck out of people who get stuck with me and can't get me to respond to grabs. I'm just one of these people who's arms need to be twisted to the point where the other person thinks they're going to snap. It's great fun to be with someone I don't like.

[tkdcanada]

We are lucky not to have too many whiners in our school. One teenage black belt comes to mind because she is so much lighter than me (although taller). She will never complain - when we do drills, I kick her hard and ask her if I should lighten up (just in case since I outweigh her quite a bit and she is so young) - she will always say "no, keep going hard." Then the next class she shows off the bruises I gave her - she calls them her war wounds. Anywhere else it would be considered child abuse! You've got to respect that kind of spirit! :cool:

[Skye]

that the grab on her lapel pulled on her gi and she could "feel it" on her neck.
That's insane.

There are a few guys I hate sparring. The one who tells me not to hit him, but then beats the hell out of me.
But now that's a good idea. Good self defence technique: "Nooo, don't hit me, don't hit me! *punch*"

[MrWarMage]

Originally posted by Jeff Burger
(heres where Im probably going to get some flack)
I slapped her
Yup slapped her and asked..."DID IT HURT MORE THAN THAT!?"
Now dont get carried away I didnt slap her hard...it would not have knocked over a carton of milk.
She was surprised...but admitted she needs more of it.

(awaiting the flack)
JMB

Baaaahahahaha That's *great*, Jeff!! :laugh:

I need to move out to wherever you are so I can train under you!

*still grinning* Now to me, that's a fairly proper way to handle the negative feedback from an advanced student. If they haven't found the mettle to handle being an uke (I call it "being a human pell" as a throwback from my rennie-fighting days) then they need something like that.

The best part about that had to have been the shock value of seeing that BB with her hand to her face and her jaw dropped. Has nothing to do with being female, because I'm quite certain JMB would have done exactly this to anyone of sufficient skill that put up a squawk...

But on the sparring note, I have often started out spars paired with person of either sex that decided I was fair game for full-force from the first move, and retreated with complaint when I returned with corresponding force. It's good to see that there is no strong preference among the women here, and that I'd get as good a workout (possibly better!!) training with any of them!!

[Jeff Burger]

I dont know why i slapped her...it didnt even cross my mind...it just happened.

I see her at tournaments and she is always friendly.
I ask her if she is doing her Muyugung exercises (body toughening...literally means bathing skills...has nothing to do with soap and water).

The schools students always wear tons of sparring equipment and stop and or complain over most every piece of contact.

Fightgrrl's last point(less) fight was against one of their students.She complained the Fightgrrl hit her too hard...so she went after Fightgrrl for real.
Fightgrrl hit her so hard in the face with a punch the girl went airborn horizontal out of the taped ring area.
That was a few years ago and to this day Fightgrrl doesnt not bother poijnt fighting....and she still has the make up smeared glove...cause you wear make up to fight right???

JMB

[MAGrl!!]

Personally I prefer to fight and spar with lads, they tend to underestimate me because I am thin, and I like to shock them. Usually I fight men and lads that are taller and bigger than me but it doesn't bother me. I like to fight with women aswell because I like the challenge. ;)

Hayley Smith

[redqueen290]

i like to spar girls cuz we tend to b more vicouse, but i like to graple guys just cuz its legal to kiss in grapling, nd i luv to use the "element of surprise" lol

-emily nealey