BJJ Manners

[Erik]

While rolling last night I took off my pal's purple belt and stood up with it on. I managed to defend long enough to do this without getting submitted.

Immediately I realized it was a faux pas. I thought it would be funny but it was rude and my pal was offended though tried not to let it show.

I'm wondering if this is equally rude in the greater BJJ world or if I just played a prank on the wrong guy at the wrong time.

I feel bad - he's very capable and he is a wonderful, decent guy. I should have done this to one of the cocky ones instead, if at all.

[John Bennett]

I wouldn't do it, but it sounds to me like a pretty funny prank. I would have enjoyed seeing you do it. :D

[Cliff Hargrave]

Some people have no sense of humor. I think it was funny.

[Fletch1]

I think it was funny. Funnier still if the guy got it back and choked you with it.

It might not be funny if you choked him with it though.

We talk all kinds of trash when we are rolling at my school (in fun) and noone gets offended (except maybe a visiting TJJ guy).

[TonyU]

You did it with a friend, I don't understand why he would be upset. Maybe because you were able to do it without him submitting you.
He may not be upset with you, he may be upset with himself, feeling that he did not defend hiself well enough.

[jwinch2]

He may not be upset with you, he may be upset with himself, feeling that he did not defend hiself well enough.


I don't have any direct experience with BJJ so will stay off of the "should I have done that" discussion. Taking Tony's comments into account I think that his interpretation is likely and he brings up an important point.

I have noticed a pretty quick jump from embarrasment to anger. In a public setting, where you are angry at yourself or embarrased it is easy to project those feelings on someone else who was the source of the initial embarrasment, however harmless the intent.

Just a thought...

[Jeff C.]

If you are rolling with a purple belt, are able to defend, and while defending, take his belt off and put it on - all while fighting him - well, in my opinion you DESERVE to wear his belt!

Funny stuff!

Jeff Cook
Wabujitsu

[Erik]

I should have done this to one of the cocky guys. I just picked a uniquely nice, gentle, supportive and decent outstanding guy who is as innocent as a kid (though incredible on the mat).

The look in his eyes was one of hurt and betrayal, like he was trusting me for a good workout (with all the safety and good sportsmanship that entails) and like he got sucker-punched. No bad attitude, just honest. I feel terrible.

I think I just picked the wrong guy. I think it hurt his feelings, plain and simple. And he is such a good and innocent man that this kind of prank made me look like I was kicking a puppy - or at least feel that way.

Oh well, things will be alright. I should have done that to one of the other showboats. Then it would have been a good -and fitting - prank.

Oh, he choked me out with a triangle (as usual :( ) not with the belt. And at the BJJ gym I'm still wearing a white belt (judo and submission wrestling ranks don't transfer even if the skills help, which is fine).

[Jeff C.]

Erik, just apologize to the young man and get over it. Don't waste time feeling guilty. BJJ is all about "gettin' 'er done" and you got 'er done! And you expressed a little humor in the process.

A belt is just a belt to hold your gi closed, and to use as a tool. The color doesn't make it a better tool. BJJ Darwinism is MUCH more important than the color of the belt. If your young purple belt friend is that upset by the incident, perhaps he should be reminded of why he is on the mat (but let a senior rank do the reminding!).

Jeff Cook
Wabujitsu

[Erik]

Rolled with "The Machine" (as the guy we're discussing is known) yesterday. Most intense roll I've had for, gosh, perhaps forever. He's definitely gotten a bit more competitive but I noticed when he went for submissions it was with finesse and care, not reckless.

The positioning, the wrestling, was more intense and competitive. It was a great roll! I think I may have won (by points only) in one of our several matches. That's holding my own against a killer purple belt (with a disincentive to baby me)!

On another note, I found a hole in his game that I'm sure applies to lots of guys with his body type. His guard game is excellent - just top notch. I spend most of my time trying to slip one leg and get half-mount when he pulls guard. This renders mixed results, usually not in my favor.

I noticed that when he does this he comes up just a little to get his legs forward (this is from starting on the knees or in a squat). At that time I shoot either a double-leg or a bodylock/bearhug (whatever it's called) and drive forward. Legs are better as that squeezes them closed and makes it harder for him to get guard.

Instead of putting my shoulder into it and squeezing his legs shut, which is tough as he's stronger than I in this circumstance, I raise the game away from the ground a little and keep driving in that double-leg. I had to do it about four times before producing any result but I got an honest-to-goodness takedown to mount and held the mount for about three minutes - an eternity.

I even got to try some chokes but his uppa made it difficult to really work them. I needed my arms for posting. Dang, he's strong, agile, and has great timing. Wonderful athlete.

Anyway, finally, I went for my Ezekiel choke (my best move) and he uppa-ed me off and into my guard. I held him with an under/overhook and locked hands to keep it shut until I could think of something. Bell rang and the round was over.

I learned so much in that one roll. What a great experience! I really felt like I'm making progress.

Aaaahhhhh, the love of the sport and my teammates!