jwinch2
02-20-2005, 16:51
I know we have quite a few BJJ stylists on here so when I found this list on another site I thought I would pass it on. I have had no personal experience with BJJ but have to admit that I found this list to be pretty damn funny.
Just in case you are wondering about the missing numbers... I edited some of the list due to some distasteful material and some comments that were disrespectful of BJJ practitioners in general. I tried to leave only the ones that were lighthearted and lose the ones that were mean or offensive. It is not my purpose in this post to offend anyone and in any case, that would not be appropriate on this forum.
I hope that this doesn't rub any of our BJJ stylists the wrong way as I am certainly NOT knocking your style :fear: . I hope that it is taken in the spirit in which it was intended which is just doling out some good natured ribbing. You know what they say, "if you can't laugh at yourself..." right? :laugh:
Jason
You might be a BJJ'er if...
1. Say: "Kimura didn't fight Helio, they grappled"
2. Say things like "Osama Bin Laden is bad but can he escape a GRACIE rear naked or arm lock?"
3. You are 200% sure that Shannon Logan would submit Bruce Lee in 5 minutes
4. Believe Gracies invented everything
5. Greet people with an open guard
6. Think every BJJ bluebelt would submit any Judo black belt
7. Speak with a fake Brazilian accent
8. Plan to marry a Brazilian (applies to BJJ females)
9. Think about Helio Gracie every time doing an arm bar, as though he created it
10. Think the "Kimura lock" was named after a man name Kimura Gracie
11. Have lots of kids
12. Eat alot of papaya
13. Don't get along with other styles and even their own
14. Have nicknames like "Bjjbabe"
15. Think Helio invented ground fighting
16. Believe that Mitsuyo Maeda (teacher of the Gracie) came to Brazil in the year 2000 B.C., by now BJJ is nothing like Kosen Judo
17. Have an altar dedicated to Rolls Gracie
18. Think Rickson never tap before
19. Says "there's nobody comparable to Royce"
20. Believe that BJJ have 70 years of undefeated record and still is to this day
21. Get mad upon hearing "Kosen judo"
22. Think Maeda was a "deadly" Jujitsu fighter rather than a student of Judo founder Kano.
25. Fight and challenge retired fighters
26. Believe that only BJJ can defeat BJJ
27. Cry when Sakuraba defeats four Gracies
28. Who's Kimura? You mean Kimura Gracie?
29. Always discover new "old Judo techniques" everyday
30. If a BJJ'er sees a good technique next time you know it, it's a BJJ technique with someone with a Gracie last name credited as the innovator.
31. Start fights with some gas station owners
33. Thinks the arm bar, guard, half guard, Kimura, triangle, oma plata etc. were invented in Brazil
35. Says that the reason Mas Oyama and Helio never met is because Mas Oyama was scared and avoided encounter with Helio Gracie
37. Knows the whole Gracie family tree by heart
39. Spent more time in between another man's leg than in between a girl's
41. Say things like "Helio can still beat half of today's NHB fighters"
42. Carry a copy of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu the Master Text everywhere...while trying to tell everybody that it's the equivalent of the Holy Bible
43. Think the Gracie diet is the World's most powerful medicine
44. Add an extra "i" to everything, Tiae-Kwon Do, Kia-rate, Miu-ay Thai etc.
45. When you think of Jujitsu, you think of Helio as the CREATOR, Rickson as the son of the creator
46. You think it's a Brazilian Tradition to challenge other schools....you drop in tears praising the genius of the Brazilians for creating this tradition
48. You thought Rickson Gracie defeated Miyamoto Musashi in a swordfight
49. You start to cross train in Muay Thai........then say that Helio was a genius having also created Muay Thai
51. Say that the great Sakuraba trained in BJJ all his life that's why he beat BJJ
52. Think that Rickson Gracie is undefeatable
53. You claim that Silva used primarily BJJ to beat Sakuraba
55. You and your friends fight NHB at the beach
56. The guard is the most "deadly" technique the Martial arts world had ever known
57. Say that Kimura used BJJ to beat Helio
59. You thought Helio Gracie invented Cross training...
60. You quote down everything Royce says
61. You was saying that Sakuraba and Renzo Gracie shouldn't be in the same ring...until renzo got his *** beat
63. You claim that Rolls Gracie "Invented" the triangle choke
64. You say that the only reason Sakuraba defeated 4 Gracies is because he is the Japanese Gracie
65. You try to say that Rickson is undefeated when you KNOW Rickson got his beat in a Sambo match by ippon
69. You try to cover up the fact that Judo Master Kimura wasn't the only Pre-war Judoka that whopped a Gracie...Judoka Ono also whopped a Gracie
70. You hate Gokor just because of his last name, do a good fighter have to have a Gracie last name or what?
71. You rub and pinch your ears secretly hoping they'll cauliflower.
72. Are constantly trying chokes and locks on your poor girlfriend (or lucky boyfriend -girls)
73. you catch yourself humming the abu dhabi combat club theme song.
74. you wear t-shirts that say "bad boy" and "tap out" and other ridiculous stuff.
75. you fantasize about new patches for your gi and wring your hands together in delightful anticipation.
Just in case you are wondering about the missing numbers... I edited some of the list due to some distasteful material and some comments that were disrespectful of BJJ practitioners in general. I tried to leave only the ones that were lighthearted and lose the ones that were mean or offensive. It is not my purpose in this post to offend anyone and in any case, that would not be appropriate on this forum.
I hope that this doesn't rub any of our BJJ stylists the wrong way as I am certainly NOT knocking your style :fear: . I hope that it is taken in the spirit in which it was intended which is just doling out some good natured ribbing. You know what they say, "if you can't laugh at yourself..." right? :laugh:
Jason
You might be a BJJ'er if...
1. Say: "Kimura didn't fight Helio, they grappled"
2. Say things like "Osama Bin Laden is bad but can he escape a GRACIE rear naked or arm lock?"
3. You are 200% sure that Shannon Logan would submit Bruce Lee in 5 minutes
4. Believe Gracies invented everything
5. Greet people with an open guard
6. Think every BJJ bluebelt would submit any Judo black belt
7. Speak with a fake Brazilian accent
8. Plan to marry a Brazilian (applies to BJJ females)
9. Think about Helio Gracie every time doing an arm bar, as though he created it
10. Think the "Kimura lock" was named after a man name Kimura Gracie
11. Have lots of kids
12. Eat alot of papaya
13. Don't get along with other styles and even their own
14. Have nicknames like "Bjjbabe"
15. Think Helio invented ground fighting
16. Believe that Mitsuyo Maeda (teacher of the Gracie) came to Brazil in the year 2000 B.C., by now BJJ is nothing like Kosen Judo
17. Have an altar dedicated to Rolls Gracie
18. Think Rickson never tap before
19. Says "there's nobody comparable to Royce"
20. Believe that BJJ have 70 years of undefeated record and still is to this day
21. Get mad upon hearing "Kosen judo"
22. Think Maeda was a "deadly" Jujitsu fighter rather than a student of Judo founder Kano.
25. Fight and challenge retired fighters
26. Believe that only BJJ can defeat BJJ
27. Cry when Sakuraba defeats four Gracies
28. Who's Kimura? You mean Kimura Gracie?
29. Always discover new "old Judo techniques" everyday
30. If a BJJ'er sees a good technique next time you know it, it's a BJJ technique with someone with a Gracie last name credited as the innovator.
31. Start fights with some gas station owners
33. Thinks the arm bar, guard, half guard, Kimura, triangle, oma plata etc. were invented in Brazil
35. Says that the reason Mas Oyama and Helio never met is because Mas Oyama was scared and avoided encounter with Helio Gracie
37. Knows the whole Gracie family tree by heart
39. Spent more time in between another man's leg than in between a girl's
41. Say things like "Helio can still beat half of today's NHB fighters"
42. Carry a copy of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu the Master Text everywhere...while trying to tell everybody that it's the equivalent of the Holy Bible
43. Think the Gracie diet is the World's most powerful medicine
44. Add an extra "i" to everything, Tiae-Kwon Do, Kia-rate, Miu-ay Thai etc.
45. When you think of Jujitsu, you think of Helio as the CREATOR, Rickson as the son of the creator
46. You think it's a Brazilian Tradition to challenge other schools....you drop in tears praising the genius of the Brazilians for creating this tradition
48. You thought Rickson Gracie defeated Miyamoto Musashi in a swordfight
49. You start to cross train in Muay Thai........then say that Helio was a genius having also created Muay Thai
51. Say that the great Sakuraba trained in BJJ all his life that's why he beat BJJ
52. Think that Rickson Gracie is undefeatable
53. You claim that Silva used primarily BJJ to beat Sakuraba
55. You and your friends fight NHB at the beach
56. The guard is the most "deadly" technique the Martial arts world had ever known
57. Say that Kimura used BJJ to beat Helio
59. You thought Helio Gracie invented Cross training...
60. You quote down everything Royce says
61. You was saying that Sakuraba and Renzo Gracie shouldn't be in the same ring...until renzo got his *** beat
63. You claim that Rolls Gracie "Invented" the triangle choke
64. You say that the only reason Sakuraba defeated 4 Gracies is because he is the Japanese Gracie
65. You try to say that Rickson is undefeated when you KNOW Rickson got his beat in a Sambo match by ippon
69. You try to cover up the fact that Judo Master Kimura wasn't the only Pre-war Judoka that whopped a Gracie...Judoka Ono also whopped a Gracie
70. You hate Gokor just because of his last name, do a good fighter have to have a Gracie last name or what?
71. You rub and pinch your ears secretly hoping they'll cauliflower.
72. Are constantly trying chokes and locks on your poor girlfriend (or lucky boyfriend -girls)
73. you catch yourself humming the abu dhabi combat club theme song.
74. you wear t-shirts that say "bad boy" and "tap out" and other ridiculous stuff.
75. you fantasize about new patches for your gi and wring your hands together in delightful anticipation.