Women training with men

**Tibriel** · 11-17-2005, 14:23

Hi all,

Where I practice MA my Sensei almost always places the women with the women. I personally find this to be disadvantagous for them from a self defence perspective especially. Everybody needs to know how to defend themselves from others bigger than they are and by only paring up the women with each other when they practice I feel is robbing them of that experience.

I did bring it up once with him since I help instruct at the school but it seems like he is worried about young adolecence grappling with each other, insecurities and other such things.

Any comments?

**Dennis Monk** · 11-17-2005, 14:32

I have sparred with women that held their own just fine. As far self defense situations go, if a woman is defending herself, it will almost surely be against a man. I personally think it is a good idea for them to spar and train with men.

**Eliz** · 11-17-2005, 15:07

I think women should train with anyone and everyone - male and female.

There are some women in the school, however, who have specifically requested to only spar other women. I am never told the reasons, I am only given the instructions from the owners. Maybe something happened? They came from abusive relationships? I don't know. I just do what I'm told....

**Budoka34** · 11-17-2005, 15:18

I prefer to keep the female working together until they have some comfort in their kills. The same goes for the males.
Once they are comfortable then I let them challenge each other's preconceptions.

If a man or woman is not comfortable with the opposite sex then they can request a same sex partner, no problem.

**Andrew Green** · 11-17-2005, 15:35

First class or two maybe keep them with someone they'll be more comfortable with, size and gender, but after that everyone works with everyone.

**wtkd** · 11-17-2005, 16:07

In my school we're pretty much thrown together. But sometimes it's same sex.

**WhiteBeltJones** · 11-17-2005, 16:28

When we practice basic techniques in Judo, we'll do it pretty much co-ed. For randori though, they generally try to match us up with similarly sized opponents. Usually this leads to same-gender sparring.

For the record, I would feel very uncomfortable holding down a woman with tate shiho gatame.

**Budoka34** · 11-17-2005, 23:15

Kurt,

I feel very uncomfortable being held down by anyone with tate shiho gatame!

**WhiteBeltJones** · 11-17-2005, 23:29

Originally Posted by Budoka34

Kurt,

I feel very uncomfortable being held down by anyone with tate shiho gatame!

Yeah, after I read a certain article (that I shall not link) in which it featured strongly, I feel kinda iffy about it m'self.

**Andrew Green** · 11-18-2005, 00:32

ok, don't post things like that, cause then I google cause I'm curious and well, It turns out being curious was not the best idea... :s

**Digi** · 11-21-2005, 01:29

It's the same way at my dojo so student people can test their techniques effectiveness on various situations.

Originally Posted by Eliz Seuferling

I think women should train with anyone and everyone - male and female.

**Tibriel** · 11-21-2005, 16:34

Originally Posted by Andrew Green

ok, don't post things like that, cause then I google cause I'm curious and well, It turns out being curious was not the best idea... :s

Just what exactly did you search with?

**dao** · 11-21-2005, 17:08

If you can't figure it out then never mind....

**Eliz** · 11-21-2005, 21:00

Originally Posted by dao

If you can't figure it out then never mind....

So true. Sounds like a little TMI!

**Kat** · 12-08-2005, 05:51

HI!!
Klar kann ich das lesen!!!

Im often sparring with men and especially self defence training should be done with men. its different to defend oneself against someone whos 20 cm taller and 20 kgs heavier than you!! AND: I dont feel as bad when I hit a big guy in the face as when Im sparring with a female.

**rgoad** · 12-08-2005, 07:33

I dont feel as bad when I hit a big guy in the face as when Im sparring with a female.

Welcommen!

That's awesome! You should talk to Dao. She works with this sort of thing quite a bit and has experience with women who are very uncomfortable with this.

Are you unique in your school, or are most of the women comforable as you are with male partners? Is there an age difference?

**jailess** · 12-08-2005, 10:53

Originally Posted by Kat

Im often sparring with men and especially self defence training should be done with men. its different to defend oneself against someone whos 20 cm taller and 20 kgs heavier than you!! AND: I dont feel as bad when I hit a big guy in the face as when Im sparring with a female.

That's the trouble with being a big guy: chance are when you're attacked in real life it'll either be by a bigger guy or several people. I'm 180cm* and 80kg**, so finding a guy bigger than me in the Dojo's tough. there's only one guy bigger, and he finds the same thing. My only hope is to only be attacked by weedy white-belt 17-year-olds for the rest of my life.

Good for the girls, though: We all feel proud whenever one of them kicks our ***.

*: I realise the metric system is not in widespread use in America, so in order to translate these numbers into something you can comprehend: learn the metric system.
**: see *.

**Erik** · 12-08-2005, 12:21

I like what Jeff C. wrote once upon a time - women MUST train with men.

True, they need a little time to get comfortable with their skillset before taking on people bigger and stronger, but they must do it otherwise there's little point in their MA.

**sean_stonehart** · 12-08-2005, 12:53

Erik... ditto that.

**Kat** · 12-08-2005, 14:51

Originally Posted by rgoad

Are you unique in your school, or are most of the women comforable as you are with male partners? Is there an age difference?

hi
we are about 3-4 girls every training and 10 guys. i think it depends on how you fight with guys. two of the girls are quite little and real slim, they dont fight as hard and the guys take good care that they dont even touch them. Its like non-contact...I think you know the people in your class quite well and you adjust your fighting, sometimes fighting with one of those girls can be relaxing, you can try some cool stuff or just catch your breath without having to worry about your nose. Figthing with guys can be tough, but you learn more and your skills get more tested. Of course they can hit harder than me, but I try to be quicker and technically better. I dont rely on my "muscles" as they sometimes do. Im 1,75 meters, so I can look most of them into the eyes

most of them are older than me, but not much maybe between 20-35. I dont know, its just that IF i do hit a girl harder than I intended to, I feel soooo sorry. On the other side: I hear a lot of sorrys on the male side at the end of each training to....

At the moment Im trying to get quicker, so the "sorrys" get less