What to do with the Presidency

[Erik]

Breaking News: Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency

August 13, 2007: Washington, DC (AP) -- Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of July 1, 2007. The move is being made in order to save the President's $500,000 yearly salary, and also a record $521 Billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead that the office has incurred during the last 5 y ears. "We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge "stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay." Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by e-mail this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time. Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will assume the office of President as of July 1, 2007. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, NY, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but no health coverage or other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when few offices of the US Government will be open. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President." A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem as President Bush had never been familiar with the issues either.

Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson. "President Bush has used them successfully for years, with the result that some people actually thought he knew what he was talking about."

Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will be eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit. Mr. Bush has been provided with the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position due to a lack of any successful work experience during his lifetime. A Greeter position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Bush's extensive experience at shaking hands, as well as his special smile.

[Cliff Hargrave]

That was funny!

[Brian R. VanCise]

Even I have to admit that was really funny and sad all rolled into one!

[Abbax8]

Why stop at the President. Out source the whole government. Keep the military, the National Parks and possibly some sort of research and development for big science.

Peace

Dennis

[Jay Bell]

the National Parks

Too late there too Foreign investors own more of our National Park acreage than we do..

[Erik]

Too late there too Foreign investors own more of our National Park acreage than we do..

They'll start bringing Pebble Beach to Japan one little pebble at a time....

[Cliff Hargrave]

With the exception of war, the decisions of the federal government really do not have much impact on regular working people. They usually effect both ends of the spectrum, those on the dole and those that are really rich. Those of us in the middle just keep on slogging through day after day. Your municipal, county, and state governments have more of an impact, and usually are the ones with the fewer people participating and voting.