pair up

**Nadine** · 01-02-2008, 16:05

I am interested if there are techniques you avoid to train with men? Or techniques where your teacher propose to pair up with people of same gender?

**Harlan** · 01-02-2008, 20:06

Nope; nothing based on gender.

**wingchundo.girl** · 01-02-2008, 20:35

Depends if I am being a helper or if I'm training for myself that day.

If I'm training for myself, I avoid certain techniques with brand new male students. Control over certain techniques takes some time to develop. I know that they will be stiff and unyielding, like gigantic tree limbs, swinging away with more force that needed, just because they are new and don't know any better. I will come away with unnecessary heavy bruising and an equally dissatisfied training session. I occasionally suggest to new lightweight members usu. women, to partner together or to seek a higher ranking male to pair up with if possible. They have much more control and it will make their initial experience much more enjoyable.

If I'm there to be a helper or secondary, then I'm there to help new students to gain control over their technique, so it's not too bad. I can give constant feedback and in actuality are teaching them how to be good partners for others as well.

Beyond that initial "newbie" stage, I train with everyone.

**Jeff Butterworth** · 01-02-2008, 21:51

My primary art is Tae kwon do, and as such we do not generally worry about mixing gender during any of the drills or sparring. The one exception is that as the instructor of our Teenage Class, I generally use discretion when pairing up the teenagers for self-defence techniques such as front bear hugs, headlocks, etc.

During this portion of the class I normally pair up girls with girls, and boys with boys. However, I also make sure that one of our female adult assistant instructors helps (i.e. grabs) with the teenage ladies training,

In the adult class we generally have no restrictions.

Jeff Butterworth

**Defined** · 01-02-2008, 22:45

I was going to say I work with everyone equally and that gender was no issue.

But reading what Liz said changed my mind. Some techniques which I know are more likely to cause injury to myself or my partner and I am not completely familiar with I may try avoid some of the men. This isn't to do with them being men per se, but the fact that I notice they tend to be overzealous when beginners. I think of them as wrenches. The more experienced ones have a lot more control.

The women in our club don't tend to throw themselves into a technique as much and will start slower.

But other than that, everyone is fair game. Saying that if I didn't think that way I wouldn't get far as the vast majority of students are male. The whole class is very mature, which really surprised me when I first started considering the ages of some people.

**Mandeigh Wells** · 01-03-2008, 07:54

It generally depends on what the drill is, but usually we would get paired off by grade rather than gender, alternatively a senior grade would get paired with a junior rank.

I tend to be just as agressive with males as I am with females, except if I do manage to belt on of the blokes, I do probably have a bit more of an 'inner giggle'...I think thats more down to the fact that they are all much bigger than me.

**Eliz** · 01-03-2008, 23:52

In Tae Kwon Do, for the most part it does not matter. As mentioned above, I used to take special care matching up my teenagers and newbies.

In Hapkido we are frequently partnered according to size/weight. Gender is a non-issue.

**De_Franza** · 01-04-2008, 07:31

Originally Posted by wingchundo.girl

Depends if I am being a helper or if I'm training for myself that day.

If I'm training for myself, I avoid certain techniques with brand new male students. Control over certain techniques takes some time to develop. I know that they will be stiff and unyielding, like gigantic tree limbs, swinging away with more force that needed, just because they are new and don't know any better. I will come away with unnecessary heavy bruising and an equally dissatisfied training session. I occasionally suggest to new lightweight members usu. women, to partner together or to seek a higher ranking male to pair up with if possible. They have much more control and it will make their initial experience much more enjoyable.

If I'm there to be a helper or secondary, then I'm there to help new students to gain control over their technique, so it's not too bad. I can give constant feedback and in actuality are teaching them how to be good partners for others as well.

Beyond that initial "newbie" stage, I train with everyone.

I'd say this is sound advice to anyone, male or female! Newbies have caused literally all the (luckily few) injuries I've ever sustained in training. (and I must confess, the two times I've hurt someone else, I was new!)

**Nina** · 01-04-2008, 09:55

Normally I don`t make a difference between male and female, but sometimes I prefer to do a technique with a man, sometimes with women. For example if we make self-defence stuff, where you have to lie on the ground , I prefer to to it with a female kenshi, as well as I prefer it, when we make seiho, especially if we do it in the beginners class. In the beginners class I prefer doing techniques, which cause pain with men

.
There are some techniques in my programm, where it is easy to feel unconfortable, e.g. where you have to push against the upper body, but since I know my grading partner for a yery long time, it`s ok...
I never said to anyone, I cannot do that with you, because you are not my prefered gender...

**Harlan** · 01-04-2008, 10:04

'lie on the ground'...definitely out my 'comfort zone'...but that would apply to both male/female. Glad I take karate.

**Nina** · 01-04-2008, 10:29

Originally Posted by Harlan

'lie on the ground'...definitely out my 'comfort zone'...but that would apply to both male/female. Glad I take karate.

I am also happy that we do stuff like that only about twice a year...

**Eliz** · 01-06-2008, 23:12

Originally Posted by Harlan

'lie on the ground'...definitely out my 'comfort zone'...but that would apply to both male/female. Glad I take karate.

The exchange of body sweat bothers me more then anything. I hate being paired up with sweat faucets - male or female.

**Nina** · 01-09-2008, 18:51

Originally Posted by Eliz Seuferling

The exchange of body sweat bothers me more then anything. I hate being paired up with sweat faucets - male or female.

I hate it much more, if I fall down or kneel down, and then stand up with a wet dogi and I don`t know why, especially if those areas turn yellow afterwards...

**Nina** · 01-09-2008, 19:20

For men: I am interested if there are techniques you avoid to train with women? Or techniques where your teacher propose to pair up with people of same gender?
So maybe there are some male MAists, who want to share their opinions...It´s unfair if it is OK, when woman don`t want to train with men, because they think they are to brutal, but men are not allowed to complain about the softness of women...But I guess this way it`s much more accpepted... So please tell us the truth!
Ups, yes I recognized, that male members already answered here, but not that specific....

**Koshu** · 01-09-2008, 23:36

Mae or ushiro monkey-steals-peach.

In all seriousness, no gender-based selective pairing in our dojo, and no special kunoichi techniques.

**skatergirl** · 02-17-2008, 17:54

My Sensei tends to match beginners with more advanced students for drills and sparring, because the more advanced students will coach to newer ones, they have better control and have a better tendency of deal with a misplaced punch from a newer student (I've been hit sqaure in the nose by one of our yellow belts...the boy's fist is like a sledgehammer, and while I was bleeding all over the place, I was kinda proud, because I've been working with him on his punches for a couple weeks now

)

He doesn't divide us up around gender, but on some techniques you need someone about your own size. So I usually have to pair up with a girl, because most of the guys in my class are about 5'11" and up, and I'm more around the 5'6" area...haha

**CEB** · 02-17-2008, 17:58

I match boys with boys and girls with girls. Mainly I just don't want to deal with this kind of crap.

Simplify.

Then ..... sometimes I do a rotation scheme where I don't move and everybody gets to work with everybody. I guess I just follow my chi.

**Rasputin** · 02-17-2008, 18:13

I match up by size. We have a hard time keeping people long enough to get higher belt ranks, but if we had a handful of them I would match them up differently so that they have experience trying techniques against a large variety of opponents.

If we have a "new" female in class I will pair her up with another female if possible, so that they can get comfortable with the class and being grabbed and "man"handled. Once they are yellow belt this is not such a priority.