Maybe fictive?

[Nina]

I know that there is always a problem if you have hypothetical questions....
So it end up in awareness and... So I want to ask about a real situation...This men always observes everything. He tries to frighten me, don`t know if he is aware of the fact that I might not be in his prefered group...

[TonyU]

I know that there is always a problem if you have hypothetical questions....
So it end up in awareness and... So I want to ask about a real situation...This men always observes everything. He tries to frighten me, don`t know if he is aware of the fact that I might not be in his prefered group...

[Nina]

Sorry wasn`t ready with the post...I guess he is a pedophilic, at least he waits for the school kids to go home...I know him for several years, and when I go home to my parents and he sees me, he follows me with his bike...I asked him about his problem once, and he completely ticked out...I think I could handle him normally, as he would circle around you with his bike, before anything else would happen, hopefully, but who knows? Honestly, I thought about just killing him by car accident when I was younger, stupid...But what would you do? wait?

[Nina]

What I like to add, I guess that something `cruel`has to happen in many cases, before anything productice happens...I think in many cases it is very difficult to handle..What`s wrong with sitting in the bath, observing kids?

[rgoad]

I'm not sure what is 'normal' for the German bath time, but based on what you seem to be saying I think you would be safe to alert authorities to this person and let them sort it out. In any case, they would be aware of his actions if anything did happen later.

[Musubi Dojo]

If you are referring to a suspected pedophile(someone who wants to have sex with children) you have a responsibility to the children in your neighborhood to inform the police IMO.

If he's harassing you and you feel threatened than you should do something about it, even if it's just making an escape plan if he attacks you. I don't know how old you are Nina but maybe you could talk to your parents about this?

[Eliz]

Nina,
I know you are approximately in your 20's. How old do you think this guy is? The fact that he is "Circling you with his bike" leads me to believe he is younger then you. Is this a situation where an ackward teen is having a crush on you? Since he lives near your parents, do you know anything about his family? About his growing up years? Was he always a bit strange?

I am always a proponent of trusting your gut instincts (initial feelings), but since you may have the opportunity to know a little about him I think it is definitely worth checking into.

[Jonathan Randall]

Nina,
I know you are approximately in your 20's. How old do you think this guy is? The fact that he is "Circling you with his bike" leads me to believe he is younger then you. Is this a situation where an ackward teen is having a crush on you? Since he lives near your parents, do you know anything about his family? About his growing up years? Was he always a bit strange?

I am always a proponent of trusting your gut instincts (initial feelings), but since you may have the opportunity to know a little about him I think it is definitely worth checking into.

Agreed.

I would add, that since you, Nina, felt uncomfortable enough with this situation to post it here, there is something to this. Take whatever steps (only actions that are legally and morally defensible, of course) that are necessary to protect yourself - and share your concerns with the authorities.

[dao]

Every situation is different so I don't know what to tell you and I don't know a whole lot about German culture (even though many of ancestors were German). Here somethings you might think of doing:

• bluntly tell him that his attention is not welcome and you want him to leave you alone
• ask another man that you both know to tell him that his attention is unwelcome (sometimes men listen better to other men than to women)
• alert the authorities
• make an excape plan
• let you closest friends and family know what is going on
• telll you neighbors and depending how threatened you feel create a flyer with his picture so they can watch for him as well
• I'm not sure if this is as true in Germany but, in the US it is important to document every encounter so that patterns of behavior can be established
• does Germany have restraining orders?

Several years ago I had a similar problem with a co-worker in another department (I had no reason for direct contact with him, I told him I wasn't interested and he didn't listen) so I casually mentioned it to the biggest gossips in the building that I was uncomfortable around him - then let them do their stuff. It was a little drastic but worked like a charm, he stopped bothering me . Though there was a rumor going around about my paranoia for a few weeks. This didn't happen at my current job.

[Nadine]

Nina,
I know you are approximately in your 20's. How old do you think this guy is? The fact that he is "Circling you with his bike" leads me to believe he is younger then you. Is this a situation where an ackward teen is having a crush on you? Since he lives near your parents, do you know anything about his family? About his growing up years? Was he always a bit strange?

I think it is known that the man (45-55 years old) is pedophilic by most of the people of the block...When we were younger friends of us lived in the same house with him and their parents sometimes called the police because he was throwing firework and dolls on the kids...Normally the man is just watching young girls, so he is not doing anything for what he could be punished (in public), that's the problem here, because often there has to happen something before authorities can deal.. but since we once provoked him (stupidity), I think he has in mind to take revenge...
But what can you do, except hoping not to meet him alone on the street...

[Nina]

depending how threatened you feel create a flyer with his picture so they can watch for him as well

I guess this could fall under the category slander.

Not if the flyer just has picture and all you say is this man's behavior bothers you and give examples of what he has done. Facts are not slander.

[Eliz]

I think it is known that the man (45-55 years old) is pedophilic by most of the people of the block...When we were younger friends of us lived in the same house with him and their parents sometimes called the police because he was throwing firework and dolls on the kids...Normally the man is just watching young girls, so he is not doing anything for what he could be punished (in public), that's the problem here, because often there has to happen something before authorities can deal.. but since we once provoked him (stupidity), I think he has in mind to take revenge...
But what can you do, except hoping not to meet him alone on the street...

To say the least he sounds twisted and dangerous.

I would not tackle this on my own. I would speak to other neighbors and gain their support too. I would also solicite the help of local law enforcement to inform you of your rights (and his rights) and what their recommended course of action would be.

[torbjork]

Yes of course, but there has to happen something before it is imposed...

Are you sure? German laws are probably reasonably similar to Norwegian laws, and here, if the police believe your statements they can and will order someone to stay away from you. If the person then keeps bothering you, the police can arrest them for not complying with police orders.

If this is bothering you as much as your posts indicate, you should go to the police and ask if they can help you in any way. Remember they might have information on this guy that you don't have (like previous charges brought against him).

[Musubi Dojo]

I'd advise you to worry about your own physical safety first.

1) Have realistic escape plan if this person attacks in the street or anywhere in your neighborhood that people might not be able to help you.

2) Let your friends/neighbors/family know what's happening so they can keep an eye on him too. (as previously mentioned) The more eyes tracking this creep the better.

2.5) Make it very clear in no uncertain terms that man's attention is unwanted . (Cover your butt and it might be all you need to get rid of him.) Raise your voice and look him in the eye, in a public place with help near by

3) Be prepared for things to escalate once you contact the authorities. Sometimes involving the police or getting a restraining order can set an unbalanced person off.

4) Make a serious plan to deal with this person physically should the need arise. I'm talking about whatever needs to be done to escape. If you are thinking about some sort of weapon make sure you know how to use it and practice frequently.

Depending on size difference it's relatively easy to shove someone off of a bike from the side and run screaming.

There may be other agencies you talk to before the police as well, women's safety advocates etc... Often they understand these situations from the woman's perspective better than the police.

Good luck and let us know what happens.

[Nina]

Thank you all for the advices...First of all I have to say, that I don`t live there anymore, so I just meet him sometimes when I am visiting my parents. Most of the time I don`t have a problem with that, because it`s daytime and many people are outside, no need to panic...I am living in Berlin, many people, less connections between each other in some areas...The problem is, when walking around at night, normally I put my hood on, so he would have problems to indentify me and I am always trying to have something between my hands. A bottle or similar stuff, as I don`t carry a knife anymore. The most fear I have is, that if he would try to grab me, I will freeze....I have every potential way of escape in my mind, I know that area maybe better then him, because he normally uses the street as far as he doesn`t observe anything that attracts his attention...
I thought about going to police before, maybe there are other people who have problems with him, also I am not sure wether they would give infos...
Maybe this is the only solution, not only to protect myself, but maybe others.