PTSD recovery?

[TCBA_Joe]

I haven't been here in a while, but I remember reading some stuff about this here.

I have a very close friend who is a rape victim. I've been helping her over the last 2 months to work through this and shes made leaps and bounds. While the occurance of her severe flashbacks have lessened, and she's stopped feeling guilt, the biggest (in my opinion) piece of the puzzle still remains.

She has lost any ability to stand up for herself and defend herself. She's an EMT and is continually harassed, especially by 2 co workers who have made it their mission in life to see how close to the line they can get. I honestly think eventually they will make the leap to rape. Just talking to her I know she can't stand up for herself. She reads like a children's book, and can't hide her emotions.

When she is touched she freezes up and she knows that unless she figures out how to get passed that it puts her at extreme risk.

She's taken martial arts for a few years and is an intermediate in kempo.

Has anyone dealt with this before? I know it's a long shot but unlike everything else, I can't help her with this.

[Webmaster]

I am going to move this to the Women's forum and leave a redirect from here. This is something the women members may be able to help with.

As far as her problems at work, that should be easy to take care of, but she'll need to go up the chain and make a complaint. Her co-worker's conduct is unacceptable in ANY environment, and it needs to stop.

[TCBA_Joe]

I am going to move this to the Women's forum and leave a redirect from here. This is something the women members may be able to help with.

As far as her problems at work, that should be easy to take care of, but she'll need to go up the chain and make a complaint. Her co-worker's conduct is unacceptable in ANY environment, and it needs to stop.

The problem stems from her COC. The guy in charge of the company told her to quit B***** if she had a problem with anyone and take it up with the person.

I'm working on trying to get her to take real action, but she refuses action against those guys. She's only staying in the job until she goes to a paramedic school and she needs her boss's signature for recommendation. That will only happen if she puts up with it. Honestly, I know about all this stuff and so does she. She needs to get over the hump of freezing up. She needs to take the target off her back.

[Eliz]

Hi Joe - nice to hear from you again.

I am very sorry to hear about your friend.

Although I understand politics in the work place, I also understand that what is happening is inexcusable. I have to agree with Robert. One suggestion - I have frequently used Attorneys to shadow write or shadow speak for me. Basically, they give you the necessary dialogue and presentation (and case histories) to handle a situation yourself. In my case, I took on the credit bureau single handedly - and won !!!

I believe relieving some of the tension in her place of employment will help her to make tremendous strides toward recovering some of her confidence.

I would also recommend group work - support groups and counceling.

I think you are a very noble and courageous person to work with her through all of this.

[Jonathan Randall]

I'm working on trying to get her to take real action, but she refuses action against those guys. She's only staying in the job until she goes to a paramedic school and she needs her boss's signature for recommendation. That will only happen if she puts up with it.

... or if he understands that the financial consequences of tolerating a hostile work environment for an already traumatized employee can be extremely high.

http://employeeissues.com/hostile_work_environment.htm

Proving and collecting on these issues is, of course, easier said than done, but, as Eliz wrote, some legally pointed words might suffice to put the fear of God into this apparent idiot and the two fools he employs. Your friend also needs to completely understand in her heart, and not simply intellectually, that folks who delight in tormenting others - particularly those most vulnerable - are without integrity and character and she doesn't owe them a damn thing. No loyalty, no consideration, no nothing.

As to the paramedic course, I suggest you quietly do some research of your own in your area. He may not be the only game in town regarding her getting accepted. Sometimes there are back doors that most folks aren't aware of. Perhaphs not, but it bears checking. You are a good friend to her, BTW.

[Jeff C.]

Hey Joe, good to see you again.

As Liz said, I think it is very noble of you to help your friend out. I too think she should add professional counseling; in fact, a good counselor will help her with her communication skills too, giving her the tools to be more effective with resolving the hostile work situation.

What her boss said, although cold and uncaring as it may seem, has some legal basis. Generally speaking, the first step in dealing with sexual harrassment is for the person being harrassed to VERY CLEARLY communicate to the other employee that their behavior is unwanted and unacceptable. She needs to draw a clear line with those bozos, if she has not done so already. She needs to document her effort to do so (a diary with dates, times, circumstances, and what she told them will suffice). If that does not work, she takes her documentation to the supervisor. Once he sees that she is systematically dealing with it and documenting it, maybe then he will get off his a$$ and start doing HIS job.

Good luck to her.

Jeff Cook

[TCBA_Joe]

Thanks everyone. It's been a while since my MA have not been high on the priority in life (College grad, Army stuff, work). Trying to get back into it.

I'll send her this thread. She means a lot to me and both my fiance and I are working to help her. She's come a long way and I'm nervous she'll hit a wall with this. Thanks everyone for the input.

[Oelier]

I would seriously consider professional counseling. PTSD can be tricky to deal with, and the strangest things can set it off. What's more, a strong letter from a licensed counselor (esp. PhDs as opposed to LPCs) can do wonders with most administrators since many psychological conditions fall under ADA and changing team assignments around is usually considered "reasonable accommodation."

[Ellis Amdur]

Treatment - research I've read suggests that the most productive form of therapy for PTSD is EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reintegration). Beyond martial arts, I would suggest "adrenalin stress training" (Peyton Quinn has a great program - there are quite a few versions of this). The idea here is that there are two avenues of attack that need to be carried out simultaneously. The procedural, as described above, and the "internal," so that your friend has the resources to carry out the actions she needs to do.
Best
Ellis Amdur