Her Own Teammates Laughed At Her

**Eliz** · 01-08-2009, 20:01

I am just in from my son's wrestling match and I feel the need to vent.

There are 3 female wrestlers who are frequently used to fill the lower weight divisions. They are tiny little women so can easily make the lowest weights, yet ferocious competitors who love what they do. They are GOOD!

They are also tough minded and the occasional "mishap" - breast grab, crotch grab, ignorant comment, etc - does not seem to phase them much at all.

Well, tonight one of the ladies competed against one of the top male wrestlers in the state. After some impressive maneuvering on her part, her opponent pinned her and won....

He pinned her by hooking his fingers into her crotch, dragging her across the floor on her face, and pinning her. In reality, it is no different then what one guy would do to another guy

The issue was the JV team - her own teammates that were watching from the stands, broke into hysterical laughter. Another group of girls - her own classmates - promptly joined in the laughter and snide comments. The poor girl dissolved into tears of humiliation.

If a young women chooses such a sport, then that is her decision and her decision alone - but for her own teammates and classmates to laugh at her and belittle her in such a fashion was beyond words.

Is it just me feeling overly female? Your opinions are welcome.

**De_Franza** · 01-08-2009, 20:07

I say not at all.
Perhaps it started as nervous snickers , the teammates were glad it wasn't them? but there's not excuse for that.
It's not good team behavior and it's bad for women to mistreat other women. it's ultimately self defeatingg.

**Jonathan Randall** · 01-08-2009, 20:33

Trashy, low class behavior, IMO, since it appears to have been sustained, rather than a simple forgetting of oneself. We've all had a moment at one time or another, I think, where we've chuckled inappropriately (perhaps only in our mind) and then caught ourself and adjusted both our internal attitude and outward demeanor. The fact that these girls continued and fed off one another rules simple human failing out. Bad behavior.

**jwinch2** · 01-08-2009, 21:13

Kids are kids and that sort of thing is the way it goes. The behavior should not be tolerated by her teammates at all and the coaches should handle it of course. But it isn't surprising in the least...

**AndrewSimonsen** · 01-08-2009, 21:17

If they have a decent coach he will fix it, you don't let your wrestlers get mocked.

**Eliz** · 01-08-2009, 22:17

The coach is usually pretty good - repercussions usually occur during practices after a disappointing match or unacceptable behavior. He does not bring attention to wrong doings during matches.

However, I am curious to see how he will handle this. To punish the JV team will only bring added attention to the young lady in question. To ignore it will be to accept the behavior of the JV team. My word, the young lady had four fingers stuffed up her crotch for all the world to see. How much more attention can she handle?

**Mark Barlow** · 01-08-2009, 22:48

Having observed my wife's ballet classes over the past 20+ years, I've decided that the cruelest creature on earth is a teenage girl and a teenage boy isn't far behind. It's a shame that the wrestler was treated so poorly and while it's true that her teammates should be ashamed, I doubt that any amount of lectures or even punishment will make much difference. They'll probably just heap more abuse on the poor girl.

As traumatic as the experience was, I hope the girl has the maturity and fortitude to shrug it off and not let embarrassment rob her of an activity she enjoys. In the long run (way down the road) this could end up being something that will become a source of strength and growth. Some of my best traits were forged after social gaffes, personal blunders and monumental misunderstandings. There is some truth to "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger".

**jwinch2** · 01-09-2009, 01:39

You're probably right Mark. However, if the coach handles it properly and takes her teammates aside and talks to them in private about what it means to be a team and to have your teammate's back it might work out well. Maybe not, but it has a shot I think.

**AndrewSimonsen** · 01-09-2009, 02:06

I read an interview once from an female American Olympic wrestler where she talked about how much **** she had taken back when she was in highschool and wrestled. It was a good read on the subject and I'll try to find it.

**Prince Loeffler** · 01-09-2009, 06:38

It seems to me that the word "team mate" only applies when winning ! Girls can be cruel....

I know , I saw the movie mean girls !

Seriously, Its all about the maturity level and these girls aren't at that point.

**starkjudo** · 01-09-2009, 06:52

Judo doesn't allow males and females in the same division. I'm shocked, that with wrestling's greater number of players, that this goes on.

**sooner_sadiq** · 01-09-2009, 07:54

I agree with the other post that your trying apply maturity to a level where there generally is non=HS and JH. Added on top of that you have significant gender issue where a female is participating in a male dominant sport and on show in front of X amount of people.

It would happen if a male was on a ballet team, but generally they aren't performing in front of their student body.

The issue of handling it is going to have to be delicate and I would like to see what happens.

**Ron Tisdale** · 01-09-2009, 08:45

I'm pretty shocked that this was allowed by the ref. There aren't rules regarding this kind of thing? There was a woman that trained with our college wrestling team, and if anyone had done this to her I think they would have gotten the beating of their life in pretty short order. Abusing her was just not tolerated.

Best,
Ron

**jjaje** · 01-09-2009, 08:48

I agree with Mark. Hopefully the coach will find a tactful way of handling the situation.

Teens and sports often remind me of a tag line for a gymnastics movie, "It's not called gym-nice-tics."

**Webmaster** · 01-09-2009, 08:56

This is totally unacceptable. If the male wrestler actually achieved penetration then he needs to be charged with sexual assault. If he was off the mat and did this against her will, you can be darn sure he'd be in jail.

**CEB** · 01-09-2009, 09:09

Somebody should be running a lot of stairs this afternoon.

We have three girls on our team. They work hard. They don't start so they do not see action in dual meets but they do Wrestle tournaments. (We are one of the strongest programs in Illinois AA High School wrestling.)

Quite a few girls wrestle in K-8 through but the boys get too strong in high school and the girls typically quit wrestling when they hit their teens.

Illinois needs separate girls wrestling competition division. I am probably biased but I think wrestling is one of the greatest athletic endeavors for young people. There is support for women's wrestling at the international level. The US women are doing pretty good. Clarissa Chun just took gold at the World's in Tokyo. If we create separate High School competitions for girls it will grow. There will be a lot fewer knee injuries in girls wrestling than in soccer.

**Brian R. VanCise** · 01-09-2009, 09:47

Originally Posted by Webmaster

This is totally unacceptable. If the male wrestler actually achieved penetration then he needs to be charged with sexual assault. If he was off the mat and did this against her will, you can be darn sure he'd be in jail.

I have to agree that this is not acceptable behavior.

**Ron Tisdale** · 01-09-2009, 09:49

Hi Ed, you seem pretty darn familiar with these types of programs. Is the type of grab (specifically involving penetration of the crotch area) allowed? I can't imagine that it would be...as a man, I never had anyone grab me in such a way that the only place I can be penetrated was. And I'd imagine I'd be pretty upset if that happened...

Best,
Ron (I was at a wrestling match and a fight broke out...)

**Webmaster** · 01-09-2009, 10:11

Ron, I can probably answer this as well since I grew up wrestling in Oklahoma.

NO, sticking your fingers, thumb, etc into another wrestlers butt or in the case of a woman, vagina is absolutely not allowed. Does it happen incidentally? Yes. Does it even happen on purpose? Yes, but that does not make it right. In the case that Eliz describes, we have a girl who had four fingers shoved into her vagina (that is assuming that there was penetration) and she was physically dragged by the hand doing the penetration as if it was a "hand-hold". If that is indeed what happened, whether it's in the butt or vagina and penetration happened, it is not only illegal by the rules of wrestling, but it constitutes sexual assault.

Oh, and rather than her team laughing, it should have resulted in a bench clearing brawl. How dare they let their teammate be subjected to this sort of assault!

**Ron Tisdale** · 01-09-2009, 10:28

Right there with you Robert. The ref should have called that, penalized the opponant, and started the position over. I can't believe her coaches let that pass.

Despicable.
Ron