This one is for Rasputin (David)

**Bruno@BS** · 07-19-2010, 06:37

**Rasputin** · 07-19-2010, 15:41

Although I agree wholeheartedly, in spite of the satire, I still think cats would contain far too much concentrated evil to be tasty.

**David Craik** · 07-19-2010, 15:49

Ironically, they taste much like pork.

**Leopard** · 07-19-2010, 18:31

Nice clip!

Concentrated evil? Kitties are sweet, you just don't understand them!

David Craik

Ironically, they taste much like pork.

YOU ACTUALLY ATE A CAT!!!! You've got some explaining to do!

**Rasputin** · 07-19-2010, 18:56

Originally Posted by Leopard

Kitties are sweet

I would assume it depends on their diet.

**David Craik** · 07-19-2010, 18:58

YOU ACTUALLY ATE A CAT!!!! You've got some explaining to do!

In USMC J.E.S.T. (Jungle Environment Survival Training) in the Philippines, at the conclusion of training you were sent out with a canteen, a machete and a poncho. Robert's likely familiar with this place, it was in upper MAU (Sky Village). And you had to survive on whatever you could find. The jungle is a rough place. There is plenty of vegetable matter, but you start to crave meat like mad. But there are greasy-furred jungle cats, which are better than eating insects and way easier to trap then a monkey. Only the Negritos can get monkeys. Rats taste about the same too, and are about the same size as the cats are. They aren't bad, like pork but a little stringy. Added shock bonus: I can't light fires for crap without modern conveniences like matches, etc. (never could get the hang of it) so it was eaten largely raw.

You would likely be amazed at what I have eaten, you will eat anything when your stomach starts to eat at your spine, the mosquitos suck nutrients from your body faster than you can replenish them, and your mouth waters at the sight of a spider.

Dunno what the hell is the difference between eating a cow and eating a cat anyway. Would you not eat a cheeseburger if it purred instead of mooed when it was alive? Kitties are 'sweet' until you become delirious, then they're food. Probably ate some unknowingly in Korea as well...

I've probably lived a life alien to you, so don't be so angry. My wife of over 20 years doesn't even know what to make of me most of the time. But she sticks around.

Can't blame the military for all of it though, I was on a survivalist kick for a long time as a teen and ate a lot of weird crap too. Don't eat owls by the way, they are absolutely heinous.

**Rasputin** · 07-19-2010, 19:26

Originally Posted by David Craik

I can't light fires for crap without modern conveniences like matches, etc. (never could get the hang of it)

As a Boy Scout, I had some success with flint & steel & tinder, but it is probably easier to stick a small magnifying glass in your boot. How thorough was the shakedown?

**Webmaster** · 07-19-2010, 19:26

Originally Posted by David Craik

In USMC J.E.S.T. (Jungle Environment Survival Training) in the Philippines,

I know J.E.S.T. well and got to attend once when I was deployed aboard the Belleau Wood, and then later when I was stationed in the Philippines. Great school, and great fun. Amazing how good those scraggly jungle cats actually are.

Oh, and for the record, I prefer Aso over Pusa.

**David Craik** · 07-19-2010, 19:31

Originally Posted by Rasputin

As a Boy Scout, I had some success with flint & steel & tinder, but it is probably easier to stick a small magnifying glass in your boot. How thorough was the shakedown?

Flint and steel is a breeze, and a magnifying glass would have been great too. I should have stuck a magnesium stick in my boot. I don't recall them shaking us down, it just never occurred to me to cheat. Which shows what a dumbass I was. But I was still had delusions of being Rambo, and they said they'd teach us how to make fire anyway, right?...

I never would have guessed that I can use the exact same fire bow, the exact same wood, the exact same hand piece, and the exact same tinder that a Negrito guy used to make a blazing fire in minutes and I get...well...a damn tired arm and frustrated. They make it look so easy. Still can't figure it out, it's a type of magic. Tried compression firemaking too, the hell with that. I did make a small fire from time to time, but only after 500% effort with maybe 15% of the success rate.

Great fun, as Robert said though...definately some times to remember. Aso is good, just don't nick the bladder! Woof!

**Rasputin** · 07-19-2010, 20:05

Originally Posted by David Craik

I don't recall them shaking us down, it just never occurred to me to cheat. Which shows what a dumbass I was. But I was still had delusions of being Rambo, and they said they'd teach us how to make fire anyway, right?...

Rambo had a survival kit in his knife, remember?

Even he knew--if you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin'.

Originally Posted by David Craik

I never would have guessed that I can use the exact same fire bow, the exact same wood, the exact same hand piece, and the exact same tinder that a Negrito guy used to make a blazing fire in minutes and I get...well...a damn tired arm and frustrated. They make it look so easy. Still can't figure it out, it's a type of magic. Tried compression firemaking too, the hell with that. I did make a small fire from time to time, but only after 500% effort with maybe 15% of the success rate.

A bow never made more than smoky-smelling charred spots on a piece of wood for me. Guess I needed more practice.

**Leopard** · 07-19-2010, 20:11

Well, if you were starving, that's ok. Hopefully you were grateful for it. I have eaten things people considered strange too. But I don't think I could eat a dog, cat or horse unless it had already died. I know I am a hypocrite.

**Rasputin** · 07-19-2010, 20:18

Originally Posted by Leopard

I don't think I could eat a dog, cat or horse unless it had already died.

Especially a horse. I wouldn't relish a kick in the teeth as I was going in for a morsel.

**David Craik** · 07-19-2010, 20:39

Originally Posted by Leopard

Well, if you were starving, that's ok. Hopefully you were grateful for it.

Well, I'm sure they wouldn't have let me starve to death. That takes way longer than the course did. I'm grateful for everything I eat, every day looking down at the ground instead of up at it is a good day. And it's instructive, there are times where one doesn't have any right to have 'morals' as situationally unrealistic as this. Your culinary morals are a thin and artificial veneer, easily stripped away. Your stomach just needs to growl loudly enough. It is amazing how quickly contrived ideas of being 'civilized' fall away in moments, showing how artificial it all is. Give me a month and I could turn the cream of society into beasts.

* cue "Circle of Life" from the Lion King *

But I don't think I could eat a dog, cat or horse unless it had already died.

In my defense though, they had already died....cause I killed 'em. You don't think dogs, cats and even ancient horses are/were eaten by predators? Yet somehow we as humans get to choose which species gets eaten and which doesn't based on which ones we consider 'cute'? Pigs are the possibly the smartest domesticated animals on the planet, equal in some tests to chimps and in others smarter than a three-year old human. And a calf is no less cute than a foal. What's a domestic cat do? Stare at you like you're dirt and disinterestedly lick it's dog-blossom from time to time. Unlike a canine, it has rarely been trained to perform any useful function whatsoever. It can't hunt for anyone but itself, it can't find accident victims, drugs, or explosives, it can't pull a sled, it can't guard anything except in legend, it can't lead the blind or predict seizures, it can't even alert anyone that Will has fallen into a well. It has what my dad called 'cupboard love'...stop feeding it and it will unceremoniously leave you, whereas dogs have starved with their owners or returned to their master's grave year after year until they became too old to walk. There is probably no animal you could keep, outside of a rat, or snake, that cares about you less. If you keel over dead, a lab will try desperately to revive you or get help. A cat will metaphorically shrug it's little shoulders and commence to eating you.

I once had a steer that would accurately predict when a storm was coming and head to the barn, the cat would sit stupidly outside until it started getting wet. From a pragmatic standpoint, it's a useless creature suitable only for food. Seems to me you've got some explaining to do.

A bow never made more than smoky-smelling charred spots on a piece of wood for me. Guess I needed more practice.

It surely is tough, I can't do it the vast majority of the time. When I see films of people rubbing a stick between their hands and within moments the tinder bursting into flame I nearly fall from my chair laughing.

**Leopard** · 07-19-2010, 22:43

We humans get to pick and choose what we eat because we are at the top of the food chain. Cats pick and choose what they eat as well, because they are at the top of the food chain.

Cats have saved millions of people. There was a time in Europe when cats were considered witches familure spirits and even agents of the devil. They were killed on a regular basis. Then guess what? The plauges came along. Why? The cats who were killing the mice who carried the plauge were scarce. Cats have also saved human babies by stimulating them to breath. It is an old wives tale that a cat will steal a baby's breath. This is actually an ignorant misconception. In many cases the cats caught licking babies faces were actually trying to get them to breathe when they had paused for too long, or stopped breathing. Cats will often nurse animals of other species when they are orphaned.

If cat stares at you like you are dirt, it's because you don't know how to treat them right. They are smart enough to figure out that their owner isn't going to feed them, and go out and feed themselves. They are very efficient and can survive for long periods of time even without food or water. And acutally if someone neglected me I would leave too. If they were a jerk, I would ignore them too.

Every cat I have ever had follows me like a dog. They all call out for me if I am "missing". One would even play fetch with me. Another would grab my things and run and then drop it and stand over it. Just like a dog who wants to play. They all hunt. Some kill pesky bugs around the house, while others kill mice. One even captured a small rattler. They always bring it and offer it to me so I can eat too. It Grosses me out...but it is soooo sweet!!

So if you have cats that just stare at you, then it sounds like a personal problem to me.

**Rasputin** · 07-19-2010, 22:51

Because an animal which finds its chocolate starfish a magical morsel desperately needs an appetizer before its feast.

**Leopard** · 07-19-2010, 23:01

ROFLOL!!! Sure don't you like a nice 7 course meal from time to time? Nothin' is too good for fluffy!

**Bruno@BS** · 07-20-2010, 02:27

Originally Posted by Leopard

Well, if you were starving, that's ok. Hopefully you were grateful for it. I have eaten things people considered strange too. But I don't think I could eat a dog, cat or horse unless it had already died. I know I am a hypocrite.

Interesting. In Belgium, it's perfectly normal to eat horse flesh. We don't eat it as much as beef though. Personally I think the taste is a bit too strong, but it makes for superb stew.

**David Craik** · 07-20-2010, 16:50

We humans get to pick and choose what we eat because we are at the top of the food chain. Cats pick and choose what they eat as well, because they are at the top of the food chain.

Thus, I can choose to eat all the cats I want, without having any 'explaining' to do whatsoever, least of all to you. Nor do I - being an apex predator and all - require you to inform me under what circumstances something is 'ok' or not. Big cats are 'at the top of the food chain', a domestic feline isn't at the top of crap. It's food chain consists of itself and a can which it can't even open itself, a can any self-respecting dog would promptly take from it. Mice, bugs, lizards. That a housecat is sometimes called a 'pussy' isn't entirely coincidence.

If cat stares at you like you are dirt, it's because you don't know how to treat them right.

And what in your childlike estimation is 'treating them right'? I've owned a score of cats since before you were born and treated them like kings, just as I've treated every pet I've ever owned because the majority were and are rescued animals. They died of old age plump and spoiled. They were still all largely useless. They look like that because it's the only facial expression they are capable of, it has nothing whatever to do with being ill-treated. Like Carlin said, they don't even have anything that passes for eyebrows like a dog, they have a bunch of sh*t sticking out of their head. Badly-treated animals don't sit there and look at their abusers, they run like the Devil is after them.

Cats have saved millions of people. There was a time in Europe when cats were considered witches familure spirits and even agents of the devil. They were killed on a regular basis. Then guess what? The plauges came along. Why? The cats who were killing the mice who carried the plauge were scarce. Cats have also saved human babies by stimulating them to breath. It is an old wives tale that a cat will steal a baby's breath. This is actually an ignorant misconception. In many cases the cats caught licking babies faces were actually trying to get them to breathe when they had paused for too long, or stopped breathing.

This story about the lack of cats being a primary element in the spread of the Black Death is an oft-repeated one, but it doesn't hold water. Bubonic plague wasn't caused by the rats themselves, it was caused by Xenopsylla cheopis: fleas. Fleas which infect cats as well, even to this day, and they can carry and transmit all forms of plague just as well as a black rat can:

http://www.peteducation.com/article....1+1316&aid=336

These same fleas have been used in biological warfare by the Japanese and cat population if anything made it worse because the cats themselves carried them.

Cats didn't lick babies' faces to rouse them leading to the old wives' tale. They licked the babies' mouth because babies' breath smells like milk, they spit up milk, and they drool saliva that has some milk residue in it from inside their mouths. Go drink some milk, open your mouth if front of your cat and breathe on it, I can guarantee it will start trying to lick the inside of your mouth. Like a freaking cat cares or notices if an infant stops breathing. If their own infants stop breathing they effing eat them. Give me a break.

I think it could be reasonably postulated that cats did inadvertantly asphyxiate babies because of this, when my kids were little they thought it was hilarious when the cats would try and lick inside their mouth and would sometimes put nearly their whole faces in if allowed to. This could easily suffocate a newborn.

They all hunt. Some kill pesky bugs around the house, while others kill mice. One even captured a small rattler. They always bring it and offer it to me so I can eat too. It Grosses me out...but it is soooo sweet!!

They hunt what they want to hunt and bring it to you because they are proud. Go teach one to fetch a duck or point. That's what I mean by hunting, not pest control.

So if you have cats that just stare at you, then it sounds like a personal problem to me.

It isn't a 'problem' to me in the slightest, because I don't own any. Nor was it when I did own them, because being the 'top of the food chain' as I am, I could throw the damn thing in the river chained to a cinder block if I took a notion to. Therefore it seems to me that any 'personal problem' between me and the cat would be the cat's problem, not mine. Both a cat's and your own opinion of me is somewhere in the same strata of importance, about where I'd rate Paris Hilton's views on foreign policy. Thanks for playing.

P.S. You own a lot of 'Hello Kitty' stuff, don't you Morgan?

**Leopard** · 07-20-2010, 20:35

Interesting. In Belgium, it's perfectly normal to eat horse flesh. We don't eat it as much as beef though. Personally I think the taste is a bit too strong, but it makes for superb stew.

I will take your word for that one. I think I would have to stick to the fries.

Thus, I can choose to eat all the cats I want, without having any 'explaining' to do whatsoever, least of all to you. Nor do I - being an apex predator and all - require you to inform me under what circumstances something is 'ok' or not. Big cats are 'at the top of the food chain', a domestic feline isn't at the top of crap. It's food chain consists of itself and a can which it can't even open itself, a can any self-respecting dog would promptly take from it. Mice, bugs, lizards. That a housecat is sometimes called a 'pussy' isn't entirely coincidence.

Who squirted YOU with the water bottle?

I actually can see your tail twitching side to side.

This pussy chased a bear away.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?

This pussy saved her owner from 2 pit bulls
http://www.khou.com/news/Cat-Saves-P...-95461819.html

This pussy saved it's owners from a house fire
http://deadlinescotland.wordpress.co...through-house/

And what in your childlike estimation is 'treating them right'? I've owned a score of cats since before you were born and treated them like kings, just as I've treated every pet I've ever owned because the majority were and are rescued animals. They died of old age plump and spoiled. They were still all largely useless. They look like that because it's the only facial expression they are capable of, it has nothing whatever to do with being ill-treated. Like Carlin said, they don't even have anything that passes for eyebrows like a dog, they have a bunch of sh*t sticking out of their head. Badly-treated animals don't sit there and look at their abusers, they run like the Devil is after them.

*ears going back

This story about the lack of cats being a primary element in the spread of the Black Death is an oft-repeated one, but it doesn't hold water. Bubonic plague wasn't caused by the rats themselves, it was caused by Xenopsylla cheopis: fleas. Fleas which infect cats as well, even to this day, and they can carry and transmit all forms of plague just as well as a black rat can:

http://www.peteducation.com/article....1+1316&aid=336

These same fleas have been used in biological warfare by the Japanese and cat population if anything made it worse because the cats themselves carried them

.

I learned something new....awesome!!! Thanks!

They hunt what they want to hunt and bring it to you because they are proud. Go teach one to fetch a duck or point. That's what I mean by hunting, not pest control.

Now I know. Want some catnip or something? Helps with stress.

It isn't a 'problem' to me in the slightest, because I don't own any. Nor was it when I did own them, because being the 'top of the food chain' as I am, I could throw the damn thing in the river chained to a cinder block if I took a notion to. Therefore it seems to me that any 'personal problem' between me and the cat would be the cat's problem, not mine.

Might want to check the animal cruelty laws in your state before you throw some poor cat into a river chained to a cinder block. But you could kick a cow instead. Unfortunately, that's usually no problem.

Both a cat's and your own opinion of me is somewhere in the same strata of importance, about where I'd rate Paris Hilton's views on foreign policy. Thanks for playing.

*tilts head to side like RCA dog "Really? You don't just hang on my every word? I thought your entire existance was all about ME!!"

P.S. You own a lot of 'Hello Kitty' stuff, don't you Morgan?

Uhmm....NO! My kitty collection is more like this:

http://www.luckywonders.com/Pictures...004AEC-306.jpg

**David Craik** · 07-21-2010, 05:29

Who squirted YOU with the water bottle?

I actually can see your tail twitching side to side.

Well, you did actually. And let's leave my tail out of this...though if you can see through the internet that's amazing. Have you been training with telecino?

Let's see...first link doesn't work. You obviously relied on one of your kittehs to parse for you. Second link: Cat's insane, fair enough. Look at it's pic though, it's even looking at the cameraman like he's dirt. Third link: Cat was concerned for it's own self-preservation and made a racket. Woop de doo.

Now I know. Want some catnip or something? Helps with stress.

Naa...I'll take a double of a good single-malt though if you have one. 'Stress'? That's hysterical.

Might want to check the animal cruelty laws in your state before you throw some poor cat into a river chained to a cinder block. But you could kick a cow instead.

And you might want to check the difference between hypothetical and actual. Also review past and present tense. Kicking a cow would be inadvisable, they kick a lot harder than I can.

I thought your entire existance was all about ME!!

Well obviously, since you pop up here, start typing in all caps, and demanding explanations for a post that wasn't even directed to you written by someone you know absolutely nothing about. After a month of membership and a whopping 30-something posts no less.