My 3 year old has started to kick me...

[Erik]

I'm not kidding. She comes up from behind and starts kicking me, usually on the calf, or on my ribs when I'm lying down. It feels cute, soft little flicking and a "hiyah!" in her sweet little voice.

I asked her what she's doing and she said, "karate." I asked her where she learned that and she said, "grandpa." I guess he took her out for supper one evening next door to this karate dojo near my parents' house and they observed for a while.

So, I've been telling her no karate on someone who is not ready and playing along (she usually starts kicking and then says, "play along, daddy!") Obviously, I need to do something about this.

But this raises a few questions:
- is this a prelude to bullying behavior?
- if I teach her not to do that to anyone outside a dojo (we'll have her training soon enough), then am I squelching her natural feisty personality (and she IS feisty)? This could have ramifications in dealing with suspicious strangers.
- what would all of you, more experienced, parents/coaches do?

I'm kind of stuck here - not sure if I should try to guide her feistiness, suppress it, or what?

[Ramirez]

LOL.... don't stress about it, those are just passing fads with kids, at 3 my son was determined to be Hulk when he grew up (even told them that in daycare, while everyone else wanted to be a doctor or fireman) and proceeded to lay a beating on me every chance he got (I had to be the Abomination) ending up with him standing with his foot on my chest just like in the film.

So we would go downstairs, clear the room and wrestle for an hour or so, that lasted a few months

For a while he was also trying to wrestle with his best friend at daycare who didn't know he was just playing and the daycare thought he was trying to get into a fight so they just explained to him that the wrestling stays at home and it wasn't a problem.

[Webmaster]

She's 3 1/5 years old. You worry too much.

[Abbax8]

Erik,

Tell her she only does Karate with you and only when you both want to.

Dennis

[Abbax8]

at 3 my son was determined to be Hulk

Heck, at 3 my one son wanted to be the Pope. That's passed long ago .

Dennis

[Ramirez]

Heck, at 3 my one son wanted to be the Pope. That's passed long ago .

Dennis

LOL....guess he didn't like the hats.

[Erik]

I just want her to know when to play rough and when not to so she doesn't beat the crap out of the other kids and get in trouble or, worse, alienate her otherwise-friends. That's actually a big deal socially. With her feisty nature I think it's important that she learns to play nice, otherwise she won't have friends. Not good.

Funny - We played kung fu since she was a baby (me doing wing chun or eskrima handwork while she lays down and tries to kick at me - started when we were changing diapers and I wanted to make it fun) and since she was 1 1/2 she did "Muay Thai" which meant that she put up her guard, kept her R hand in contact on her cheek/chin (I watched my dear nutcase friend Jason Von Flue get KOed because he forgot to do this!!!!!!! My poor buddy!!!!) and then pressed forward punching and returning her hands to guard. Now she can actually do this stuff. Time to focus it.

When she wasn't even two she took down, got side control, moved around as he moved, and then got a rear naked on a 4 year old. She doesn't know how to do a choke but dang! She's got the right instinct! And in front of some of my PJ buddies who said, "gosh, she's tougher than her dad, at least!"

[Ramirez]

Don't worry about it, parents are for beating on in my experience, their friends they treat a lot better.

Edit: actually I should have said Daddies are for beating on, moms don't get into the roughouse stuff.

[rainesr]

My 1 and a half year lod learned to kick and my wife's Yorkie has not not had a minute of peace since. I think it is quite funny.



~Rob

[wingchundo.girl]

When my nephew was about that age when his parents watched a lot of WWF. Which he emulated and tried his hand every chance he got. At first it seemed cute. He used his wrestling moves on Dad, but then with other young children. It didn't change until friends of my sister and her husband gave them a subtle hint to leave their son at home the next time they visited.

Now, why did it go on as long as it did? Because his parents thought it was cute and seemed to enjoy watching their son best other kids.

The above story is just to illustrate that it can only happen this way, if as a parent you let it happen this way.

Children this age begin to understand rules and as long as parents explain, reinforce, remind, and praise the proper behavior expected, and are consistent with follow through and behavior adjustment, then you should be able to stop her from kicking other children, or other adults if that is your worry.

We told our son at that age. that the only time he could use his kung fu, to kick or punch is when we are holding a pad and "working" (training). This worked very well.

[De_Franza]

I''m not more experienced than you, Erik, but I agree, as long as you make it clear she can karate you when you're ready and not other people unless they're playing along, it should be a blast! and you can set some time for karate with her and make it fun and harness that feisty attitude. Someone told me once, probably here, that kids have an attention span about equal to their age in minutes... so a 3 year old can't really pay attention for 10 minutes of formal punching drills. I'm sure you realized that already but some fun karate play like that should be great for her. Just follow her lead. My 3 year old daughter was on a big karate kick... um, phase, for a while and we all love it.

[Erik]

Thanks for the advice, folks!

We're trying a second TKD school. It's an Ernie Reyes school so my first thought was XMA and that kind of nonsense. Turns out the trainer is tough-as-nails and no-nonsense, as is his wife. There was a 5 year old who could kick and hit the focus mitts better than I can! And she was smaller than my little one.

My girl did well for about 25 minutes and then claimed she was "cold" and wanted to be held. Class was only 30 minutes. I was mad as we already discussed quitting but then again, she's not even four.

Trainer corrected EVERYTHING she did. He moved the pad away when she did not hit right, etc. EXCELLENT training for someone who wants to learn. Now, to keep her interested.... Tonight there's another workout and I hope there will be more kids.

I'm thinking about joining. I wonder what the adult classes are like. This trainer is tough which I like. I don't know what the curriculum really is, though. They call it MMA, they have belts, very non-traditional. If only they had an adult Judo club that trained in that gym....