Japanes weddings

[sharonhawker]

Hi
I am getting married in July to a fellow karate instructor. We would like to incorporate some Japanese customs into our day. Does anybody know any or any good websites on Japanese wedding traditions?
Thanks in advance.
Sharon

[Rich]

Hi Sharon,

Well, firstly congratulations on your forthcoming marriage.

I've been living in Japan for two and a half years now. I've been to one wedding and spoken to students (I'm an English teacher when I'm not in the Dojo!) about weddings.

In Japan they tend to mix Western and Japanese traditions. The Bride may start off wearing a white wedding dress then change into a traditional Japanese kimono and then change again into evening wear. Sometimes the wedding cake which is not traditional in Japan is purely ornamental and made of cardboard! A 'traditional' Japanese wedding involves the Bride and Groom going alone to a Shinto Shrine in traditional Japanese clothing. There they are blessed by the priest.

That's about as much as I know. Sorry I couldn't be of much help!

Richard.

[Rich]

Not that this is much use to you. I just remembered something about Japanese weddings that might shock you - in Japan very few guests are invited to the ceremony if they have a church ceremony. Only immediate family and maybe a couple of friends. The guests are expected to pay anywhere from 50,000 to 100,000 yen, depending on their status. That's $500 to $1000!!!

Richard.

[sharonhawker]

Hi Richard
Thanks for replying. I don't think our guests would go for the money giving tradition, which is a great shame lol
Incidently, do you know whether it is true that purple is the japanese colour for love?
Thanks again
Sharon

[Rich]

I'm afraid I don't know the answer to that but I'll ask tomorrow and find out. Tomorrow (14th of March) is White Day in Japan when men have to buy women chocolates. It is in response to Valentines Day when, in Japan, only the women buy chocolates for men. Strange...but true!

Regards,

Richard.

[Kimpatsu]

Oh, Sharon, you just broke my heart.
Try this site for a description of Shinto ceremonies, and this site for photos.
HTH.

[sharonhawker]

Thanks Kimpatsu they are two really interesting sites.
Sharon

[Kimpatsu]

You're welcome, Sharon. Do you want a Shinto priest as well?

[sharonhawker]

No thankyou, but I do believe you could probably arrange it if I did LOL
Sharon

[Kimpatsu]

You should try a Shorinji Kempo wedding, with embu.

[De_Franza]

It' sbeen a while since you posted this question, but I saw this and thought it might help a little

http://www.blissweddings.com/library/japanesewed.asp

[Douglas]

Got married to my honey at a local Japanese Buddhist church. She got all kinds of fancy kimono off Ebay, including that coat-like garment that is not sashed, also a big wig, with a veil over it. My sis-in-law brought me a kimono and formal hakama, fit like a dream, I guess they have gaijin over there doing the same thing (gee, ya think?)...

One of the most interesting parts of the ceremony involved my best man bringing a tray of sake to us at the altar. She filled up three sakezuke and served each to me one at a time. And then I did the same for her.

Then came the vows. I was a little bit drunk by that time, but I know what I was doing--I think...

For the reception she changed to yet another kimono, while I had to change to a suit, I missed the kimono actually...

[StanLee]

Just an off topic question.

Sharon, your profile says that you practice wado ryu in Essex. Do you know of an instructor called Ray Burrows (surname sp???)

That is because I think my first MA was Wado ryu karate and I definately know that the instructor's name is Ray.

By the way, I used to practice in Essex too (Essex boy at heart!!!).

If you know or could find out, I'd be grateful.

PS

Ah the Kehoe also has residence here... I can no longer get to ebudo as my work has not allowed it.

How's things in Japan and when are you planning to come back to London?

Gi.

[Mekugi]

Tony's been banned Stan . Gi...hahaha!

Ah the Kehoe also has residence here... I can no longer get to ebudo as my work has not allowed it.

How's things in Japan and when are you planning to come back to London?

Gi.

[StanLee]

Tony's been banned Stan . Gi...hahaha!

Tony's been banned! What for. No let me guess. It wasn't something to do with gi was it. Or did someone get onto the religion band wagon?

That's a shame. At least there are a few faces I recognise here though.

Cheers Russ.

[Tripitaka of AA]

Significant things about Japanese Weddings (from my limited experience);

They spend an absolute fortune.
They invite their College Professors and High School Teachers.
They do the Western Black Tie, and the Japanese traditional and the going away outfits.
The big hotels have a floor dedicated to running the Wedding party business.
Guests bring donations which probably end up being about 80% of the total cost.
Guests are given gift packs to take home.

Cranes and Turtles are symbols of long life, and are often used in decorations for Weddings.

[Mekugi]

I would like to add:

-The wedding ceremony itself is only family and friends- esp. Shinto.
-At a shinto wedding you drink sake together and take an "oath" to god and in front of everyone. (Kinda like the US- not exactly like the vows)
-The party for the guests is afterwards, this is where all your friends show up.
-You have to pay for guests to travel from a distance.
-You have to bring back a gift from your honeymoon for everyone that attended the wedding.
-Usually you change costumes two or more times.
-Generally you hand out the gifts as the guests leave the wedding with your family and thank them all individually.
-There is a wedding afterparty.
-There is a wedding afterparty-afterparty.
-Pretty much there is an afterparty until it dwindles down to just you and your betrothed.
-Pretty much you are too tired to "seal the deal" afterwards.
-Owls are also a common symbol at weddings.
-There is usually an older couple that plan the entire wedding, your job is to show up.
-You go around to the tables and talk with each group- also can be performed by the family and hosting couple.

ANYONE WANTING A REAL JAPANESE WEDDING HAS TO HAVE THEIR HEAD EXAMINED.

And there is more but I am in the middle of inventory at work.

I have pics of mine, embukai and all.

-Russ

Significant things about Japanese Weddings (from my limited experience);

They spend an absolute fortune.
They invite their College Professors and High School Teachers.
They do the Western Black Tie, and the Japanese traditional and the going away outfits.
The big hotels have a floor dedicated to running the Wedding party business.
Guests bring donations which probably end up being about 80% of the total cost.
Guests are given gift packs to take home.

Cranes and Turtles are symbols of long life, and are often used in decorations for Weddings.

[StanLee]

Ah David another fellow ebudoka here.

[Ewok85]

I remember my teacher going to a wedding and doing some embu, was pretty funny as they did a reinactment back at the dojo, in suits, absolutly plastered.

[Gunyo Kogusoku]

I would like to add:

-The wedding ceremony itself is only family and friends- esp. Shinto.
-At a shinto wedding you drink sake together and take an "oath" to god and in front of everyone. (Kinda like the US- not exactly like the vows)
-The party for the guests is afterwards, this is where all your friends show up.
-You have to pay for guests to travel from a distance.
-You have to bring back a gift from your honeymoon for everyone that attended the wedding.
-Usually you change costumes two or more times.
-Generally you hand out the gifts as the guests leave the wedding with your family and thank them all individually.
-There is a wedding afterparty.
-There is a wedding afterparty-afterparty.
-Pretty much there is an afterparty until it dwindles down to just you and your betrothed.
-Pretty much you are too tired to "seal the deal" afterwards.
-Owls are also a common symbol at weddings.
-There is usually an older couple that plan the entire wedding, your job is to show up.
-You go around to the tables and talk with each group- also can be performed by the family and hosting couple.

ANYONE WANTING A REAL JAPANESE WEDDING HAS TO HAVE THEIR HEAD EXAMINED.

And there is more but I am in the middle of inventory at work.

I have pics of mine, embukai and all.

-Russ

God mate, I remember that well. I had to stay the night at the hotel and get up at 05:00 to get to Tokyo from Mie prefecture for the Nihon Kobudo Shinkokai demo at Meiji Shrine.

The wedding party was weird, very animated. Hardly anyone was given time to say what they wanted, they were always being ushered away by the MC.

The embu on the carpet was fun though