Funny ukemi story

**Don Roley** · 06-15-2004, 03:49

So anyways, as some of you know I work for the local board of education in Japan. As part of my job, I show up about twice a week at some elementary schools. My wife complains that I have turned down several more profitable jobs because to do so would mean I would have less time for training and I would also stop being the most mature person in the room most of the time.

So today I am playing a game with some of the kids and I am tearing after them across the gym. As everyone knows, ten year olds move like greased lightning so I was moving fast, and streched out to reach out and down to get the little booger. Then he stumbles and goes straight down in a dead stop.

Since inertia is like seat belts in that it is not just a good idea, there was no way I could stop in time to avoid tumbling arse over tea kettle as I tripped over him. But I was up and moving again without pause and even managed to grab a kid who had stopped to watch the upcoming carnage when he saw the kid go down.

Just goes to show, taijutsu is usefull for a variety of purposes. It certainly stopped me from being pancake surprise today.

**Mekugi** · 06-15-2004, 10:48

Ukemi is pretty handy.

I was setting up targets at a local range for a high-power rifle competition in Oregon one year, making some spare cash on my summer break. They let me use my little Honda 250 to run down the range and back, which saved me tons of time and of course I went like a bat out of hell to get there and back. So, one time the cable broke on my rear brake without me knowing, myself only finding out only mere feet (meters) before the shooting pits at full throttle. Thinking that I was complete toast, I decided to lay her down sideways and skid into the front of the pits. To my suprise I was able to get up and over the bike, past the handlebars and do a perfect zenten into a standing position while laying the bike down sideways.

Of course, no one noticed until they saw me standing 8 feet away from my bike, scratching my head and walking back.

Ahh the good old days.....

Originally Posted by Don Roley

Just goes to show, taijutsu is usefull for a variety of purposes. It certainly stopped me from being pancake surprise today.

**tsurashi** · 06-15-2004, 18:10

My ukemi sucks. That would've been one squished-flat little kid............

**rubberband** · 06-16-2004, 00:18

While visting friends in Anchorage AK, my wife and I went for a bike ride on a trail that circles the airport... anyway we were approaching a narrow bridge that has a drop on one side and a four foor high walled in enbankment on the other... another cyclist approaches so I look back to warn my wife as my front tire hits the wall and sends me flipping over hand spring style onto the bank... the other cyclist nearly wrecks laughing...

the only other funny one was while in college trying to look cool and turning my head to follow a rather attractive female as I trip on an elevated crack in the sidewalk and kind of side rolled out of it and kept going... what makes it funny is two days later... I tripped again on the same crack... only that time I managed to run it out...

**Erik** · 11-30-2004, 13:52

Fell off my bike and I survived.

Wore tight pants while kicking high and my back foot flew out from under me. I slapped out and was back up sparring again before even I realized it.

Funny thing is that I've done both of these things years before and gotten hurt. Now that I've done some Judo and repeat the falls, I can see how it's helped.

(Alright, it's not Ninjutsu, but still... ukemi is ukemi so long as you can get up, laugh, and tell the story, right?)

**Mikey Triangles** · 11-30-2004, 14:41

Back in Middle School we used to play "Indoor Kickball" in the school gymnasium, and one time after I made a not-so-great kick I decided I was gonna turn it into a homerun by running really fast... but the other team didn't like that, so the second baseman stuck his foot out to trip me, and instead of going into the gymnasium hardwood floor face first at my top speed I did a roll and didn't even slow down

**kurohana** · 11-30-2004, 23:39

Last winter while pulling chocks from the main gear and running to the wintip, I slipped on a patch of ice. (forget the name, but leg sweeps in front of other leg and you roll onto hip and over shoulders) Rolled and kept going right back up and running. Suprised myself, didn't miss a step, just kept on going.

Of course, my co-workers saw it all and wanted to kow why I even slipped in the first place....

**Off-Duty Ninja** · 12-18-2004, 14:45

Very interesting Don, as i had something very similar happen.
I was chasing my little cousin around the back lawn and he, for no apparent reason, stopped right where he was and crouched down, i guess in hopes of making me run past him, but i was running TOWARDS him and about to run him completely over . I didn't have enough time to stop, so i ended up dive rolling over him and came up to my feet before i even realized what i had done. I was very pleased that the dive roll had been a reflexive action, because that's part of what i was going for all along when practicing my Ukemi.

**Kirsty** · 02-04-2005, 11:50

Oh god I am terrible at ukemi,

everyone else in my dojo rolls perfectly,

I just belly flap,

**KIT** · 02-07-2005, 11:05

LOL great stories. Sadly, I have several....

Working security at a hotel, the call goes out about a brawl in the lounge. Running downstairs with a fellow security agent behind me, I let my head get a little too forward of my feet. I start to lose it as we approached the landing, so I tuck and roll off the stairs onto the landing ...then up and running to the bar. The guy behind me is laughing now, asking me "what the hell was THAT?"

Almost the exact same thing happened later. Sitting at the precinct briefing when an armed robbery call at the stop-n-rob right next door goes out. We exit the precinct at speed headed for the store. No stairs to blame this time, I just go *** over teakettle on the sidewalk, much to the mirth of my compatriots. Still, rolled out of it and only had to pause to catch my radio mike, which was flying around on its cord.

Then there was the time the wife got her new bike. I hadn't ridden a bike in years, but took it for spin. She's watching me as I figure I can let go the handlebars and do my "king of the world" impression. Oops. Up OVER the handlbars I go, complete somersault right onto the street. I look at my wife and she looks at me with a puzzled look, then asks me if I did that on purpose.

Ummm, no....

All I had was a small abrasion on one of my arms.

Ukemi really is just about the most useful and helpful thing we can learn. They should teach it in gym class to everyone.

**Ellis Amdur** · 02-07-2005, 15:17

This one's less funny than "thank God." My wife, about six months pregnant with our first kid, was riding quite fast down a hill on her bicycle. She'd previously had about six months of aikido training (and in this dojo, they practiced judo type falls including front falls.) A man suddenly steps out into the street and she jammed on the brakes. The front brake cable snapped, and it or the calipers jammed the wheel and she went flying over the handlebars. She, unbelievably landed in a judo front fall. On forearms and toes, with no other part of her body, including belly touching the ground. It was so perfect that she did not even have any abrasions on her arms. One can imagine a perfect arch so that when she landed, she had almost no forward momentum.

Or just the power of motherhood.

Best

**jwinch2** · 02-07-2005, 16:27

I have a funny Ukemi story everytime I go to JJ class. Pitiful...

**Kennin** · 03-06-2005, 06:10

Hence your name... Don Roll-ey?

Nice stories peeps

That day I helped a lady moving here stuff from her parent's home to her own brand new appartment... on bike!
She lend me the bike of her brother or father or someone.
As we were riding down a bridge, we made quite some speed. After the bridge, there was -nearly invisible- a street to the right.
Can you imagine my shock as a car rode out of it, only a few yards ahead?
Of course I pushed the back brake in full force... next I know is that I am flying through the air... over the handle bar of the bike... while the bicycle followed me in the movement.
Instinctively I duck to the ground in a little ball, letting the bike fly over me.
The only injury I got, was of the impact of the handle bar on my left elbow. The bike dropped not even a few yards further on the ground, some feet away from the car.

As I crawled up again, the girl told me she was very sorry about that... the bicycle was a foreign one, where the break handles were placed on the opposite sides, so I didn't use my rear break, but the frontal one...!
Imagine what would have happened if it wasn't me who was in that very situation, but somebody without experience in MA's...

**harry_pothead_80** · 03-11-2005, 21:09

It is sad to see that a lot of martial arts schools refuse to teach students rolls and breakfalls due to personal liablility reasons or fear of being sued if hurt.

**Cliff Hargrave** · 03-11-2005, 22:40

Originally Posted by harry_pothead_80

It is sad to see that a lot of martial arts schools refuse to teach students rolls and breakfalls due to personal liablility reasons or fear of being sued if hurt.

Henceforth, all NEW members are REQUIRED to enter their full real name upon registration. That name will be displayed under their avatar. By doing this, they will have fulfilled the requirement to sign their posts with their real name .......

So your real name is Harry Potter?

**Kennin** · 03-12-2005, 01:06

Originally Posted by harry_pothead_80

fear of being sued if hurt.

...?

How can you be sued for that? It's a "sports" training as any other. You can get injured, that's normal. You have to be insured anyway...

**Don Roley** · 03-12-2005, 01:29

At the risk of sending this thread on a wide tangent away from the idea of funny stories about ukemi, I too have to wonder about the idea of teaching ukemi opening yourself up to lawsuits. If you do not do throws or anything like that, maybe. But if you teach how to throw and then do not properly teach people to safely roll out of them, wouldn't that open you up to a nasty lawsuit?

**Mikey Triangles** · 03-12-2005, 07:40

Originally Posted by Don Roley

At the risk of sending this thread on a wide tangent away from the idea of funny stories about ukemi, I too have to wonder about the idea of teaching ukemi opening yourself up to lawsuits. If you do not do throws or anything like that, maybe. But if you teach how to throw and then do not properly teach people to safely roll out of them, wouldn't that open you up to a nasty lawsuit?

Everything opens you up to a nasty lawsuit... that's why you gotta trick people into signing papers with small print