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  1. #1
    Junior Member 2fisted's Avatar
    Paul Bomar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Clayton NC USA
    Martial Art
    Okinawan Goju-ryu, Wing Chun, Shotokan

    Talking Kung fu movies subtitles...

    Actual English subtitles used in Hong Kong films:

    1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.

    2. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.

    3. Gun wounds again?

    4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.

    5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.

    6. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!

    7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.

    8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?

    9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.

    10. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.

    11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!

    12. You daring lousy guy.

    13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!

    14. I have been scared sh*tless too much lately.

    15. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!

    16. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.

    17. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?

    18. How can you use my intestines as a gift?

    19. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure
    you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the
    dessert flour for your aunts to eat.

    20. Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits
    and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough

    21. Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up
    together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets
    on some *** of the giant lizard
    Paul Bomar

    From what I've led myself to believe, I taste like adventure.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Luebbers's Avatar
    Michael Luebbers
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    St. Louis, MO
    Martial Art


    I know that this is slightly off-topic, but when I was in China, I came across some great translations

    1) "Monarch of Genocide" - I have no idea what this is actually supposed to mean, but it's a type of pesticide.

    2) Pepsi used to have an ad campaign with the slogan, "Come alive with the new generation."

    This was mistranslated into Chinese as "Pepsi will bring your dead relatives back to life."
    -Michael Luebbers

    "The end of man is knowledge, but there is one thing he can't know. He can't know whether knowledge will save him or kill him. He will be killed, all right, but he can't know whether he is killed because of the knowledge which he has got or because of the knowledge which he hasn't got and which if he had it, would save him."

    - Robert Penn Warren

  3. #3
    Newbie Tajiey's Avatar
    Anthony Berry
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Brooklyn, NY
    Martial Art
    Chat Sing Tong Long Kuen

    Default Kung Fu Movie Subtitles

    Yeah, those sub-titles are pretty bad, but the english dubbed into the Hong Kong Movies are even more funny.

    I don't know if anybody knows this but for the Shaw Brothers movies one guy was doing all of the english...Ti Lung. This is the same guy the played the father of Wong Fay Hung in Jackie Chan's Drunken Master II. I think that the best scenes are when one of the pugilists says "Oh no! Mantis style." , and the other guy laughs, he, he, heeee..."Wanna try it?"

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